


surviving is surprisingly shitty

by brightclam



Series: rogue one lives, kinda [1]
Category: Rogue One: A Star Wars Story (2016)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, F/M, M/M, Multi, Nonbinary Character, Oops, Panic Attacks, Polyamory, Some People Live, Victim Blaming, aka they get captured, bc ze's my favorite jedi, bodhi attempting to deal with the tentacle monster, darth vader is a bitch, i largely ignore ks20, i take already traumatized characters and make their lives even worse, if you can't deal with neopronouns or singular they/them don't read this, if you're going to put mind rape into your universe you should also put the godamn trauma in too, kit fisto is nonbinary btw bc fuck you i do what i want, kit fisto is there as their force ghost guide, major character death as in chirrut and baze, mind rape treated as seriously as physical rape, non con warning is for mind rape only, they survive scarif but at a cost, this is really just me projecting myself onto these characters
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-16
Updated: 2017-03-31
Packaged: 2018-09-24 20:54:20
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 14
Words: 19,347
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9786692
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/brightclam/pseuds/brightclam
Summary: Bodhi, cassian, and jyn make it off scariff...and land right in imperial hands.This is going to be long, and is mostly written because I'm irritated by the prevalence of mind rape in star wars, and how the trauma is always brushed aside. This will technically be a hurt comfort fic, but with a lot of hurt. The only rape will be the tentacle monster and then force users pulling information out of people's minds.I will post specific trigger warnings for each chapter.





	1. fireball

**Author's Note:**

> bodhi escapes the grenade. The attempt to escape scariff begins.
> 
> tw: graphic descriptions of wounds, including missing limbs. Graphic death scene.

Bodhi may not be a soldier, but he was trained by the empire in basic combat. He recognizes the grenade the instant it hits, and is instinctively bolting away a second later. 

 

_ I have to get out of the ship, it'll funnel the explosion, make it stronger, nowhere inside will be safe, have to get out… _

 

the force must be with him, because as he’s running for the cargo door that he’ll never reach in time, he stumbles over the open door of the hatch the rebels jumped out. 

 

It's insanely lucky, and as soon as he's jumped, the grenade blows. The force wave hits first, slamming him into the metal of the hole he’s falling through. He hits the sand, winded, and then the fire comes. It blossoms out of the hatch and licks at his back. 

 

His jumpsuit catches, and he can feel his skin burning. He rolls in the sand desperately, still struggling to take in air through the dull pain in his torso. The fire finally dies out, but the burns on his back are agonizing. His vision flickers as he tries not to scream. He loses the battle against unconsciousness, and the black takes him.

 

\----------------------

 

In the dark and quiet, he hears something break. Chirrut flashes before him, glowing with unearthly blue light. Another crack, and he's joined by Baze. The two notice each other, then join hands. Where they touch they glow brighter, and the light grows until Bodhi is blinded.

 

\-----------------------

 

He hears screams and blaster shots. The reminder of the battle surrounding him forces his eyes open. The light is bright, and it's hard to think through the pain, but he swivels his head, trying to get his bearings. 

 

He can't have been unconscious for long; the storm troopers are only a little closer than when he jumped out of the ship. The rebels are still fighting, but they're quickly being driven back. 

 

_ Does it even matter if I get up?  _ Bodhi wonders. 

 

The transmission has been sent. He can't do any more to help Cassian and Jyn. There are no more ships to fly, and they can't escape anyways if they can't find Jyn and Cassian. The rebels on the beach are all dead, and nothing he does will change that. 

 

His spiral into despair is stopped by an image. 

 

He sees a strip of beach, where the tower is. The master console stands next to the tower. 

 

_ Baze and Chirrut would be there. It's not that far, I can make it. _

 

He knows there is nothing he can do to help the situation, but he can reach his friends. 

 

After the vision he had, he is as aware of the two men’s absence as he is of the agony gripping his back. He misses them with such strength that the pain of it almost surpasses the pain of his wounds. Bodhi has never really had friends before, and now, facing their deaths, he wants desperately to be with them. 

 

He looks up again, trying to map out a route to the tower. the rebels around him have begun to flee, most of them lying still on the sand. The survivors run for the jungle, the storm troopers following. Bodhi lies very still as they approach him, making sure the raw flesh of his back is facing up. 

 

The storm troopers don't bother to check the bodies, and pass him by. He waits until their white armor has been swallowed up by the green of the jungle. 

 

He pushes himself up, then falls back down when the backlash hits. He closes his eyes and tries to breath through the pain. Chirrut’s voice rings through his head, muttering:

 

“I am with the force, the force is with me.” 

 

Bodhi begins to echo the chant, using the words as something to focus on other than how much he hurts.

 

“Iamwiththeforcetheforceiswithmeiamwiththeforcetheforceiswithmeiamwiththeforce…”

 

still chanting, he starts to crawl forwards. 

 

The jolting gait sends pain crackling through his body, but it's easier than standing up. 

 

_ It's probably better to stay low to the ground anyways, I don't want to get shot.  _

 

He crawls for what feels like forever, picking his way around bodies and debris. 

 

One rebel body grasps at him when he crawls past. The being is missing a leg, pouring blood out into the sand. The soldier doesn't speak, doesn't seem to be able to. They just hold onto his arm and shake, their eyes rolled back in their head and face twisted with pain. 

 

Bodhi wants to rip their hand off of his arm, leave the mangled flesh and tacky sand behind, but he can't. The being is dying and afraid. Soon enough, Bodhi will be like them. In his remaining time alive, he doesn't want to cause any more pain.

 

So he holds the being’s hand and whispers to them. He tells them about the signal, how the message got through, how the rebel fleet is overhead, fighting and carrying the plans away. He tells them that their sacrifice won't be in vain. He doesn't know if they can even hear him, but at least they aren't alone.

  
It doesn't take long for their breathing to stop. Bodhi continues crawling, and spits on the next storm trooper body he passes.


	2. find your (dead) friends

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bodhi makes it to Baze and Chirrut. as expected, it doesn't go well. Bodhi, Jyn, and cassian are reunited.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tw: description of wounds, dead bodies

 

\-------------------jyn pov-------------------

 

Cassian is leaning heavily on her as she pulls him towards the elevator. There's a smoking hole in his shirt, towards his left shoulder. He smells like burnt fabric and burnt flesh. His breath brushes against her ear as they hit the wall of the elevator. He’s breathing fast and hard, almost panting. For all she knows, he could be dying.

 

Her leg hurts, threatens to buckle as the elevator rushes downwards. They continue to hold each other up in silence. There's nothing to say. Their victory is bittersweet, tinged with fear. They both know they aren't getting out alive.

 

\----------------bodhi pov---------------------

 

He's covered in blood and sand, almost unconscious with pain. But he’s made it: he can see the bulky shape of the bunker ahead of him. He crawls until he reaches the door, where he collapses against the supporting metal. There is a clump of bodies here, rebel soldiers sprawled against the doorway.  _ They must have been trying to use it as cover. _

 

None of the bodies move; he's alone in a deathly silence. But looking at them, he can see that Chirrut and Baze aren't among them. He feels hope surge in his soul, accompanied by the longing for his newfound friends.

 

The next body his eyes catch on is a storm trooper, but wearing black armor instead of white. He tenses involuntarily; he recognizes Krennic’s guard.  _ No wonder there's so many dead here, they wouldn't have stood a chance against those elite troopers.  _ His eyes lazily follow the trail of black coated bodies leading into a ditch.

 

His heart stops, and he's scrambling away from the bunker. There's the glint of familiar red armor in the ditch. He crawls towards the armor as quickly as he can. As soon as he reaches the ditch, he can see it was pointless. Baze’s body is riddled with holes and his eyes are blank. He looks surprisingly peaceful, a half smile fixed on his face.

 

Bodhi follows his gaze to Chirrut’s body. He's not really surprised Chirrut is dead as well; he can't imagine one of the pair without the other. The monk is lying on his side, a huge smile on his lips. He looks happier than he ever did in life. He’s right next to the master console.  _ He must have been the one who pulled the switch. _

 

Bodhi just sits, tears prickling at his eyes. He wants to pull Baze back to Chirrut, let them be together, but he’s too weak. The despair hits then. 

 

_ Chirrut and Baze are dead. I have no idea where Cassian and Jyn are. There aren't even any rebels around. _

 

He’s alone, waiting for death to choose how it wants to take him.

 

\-----------------cassian pov------------------

 

His head is swimming. Krennic’s shot missed anything vital, but that doesn't make it hurt any less. There's a hole burned through where his left shoulder meets his chest. Moving his left arm is practically impossible. 

 

_ Thank the force for Jyn  _ He thinks.

 

She’s supporting him, so he wraps his arm around her waist, trying to make it easier on her. He saw her limping, but he doesn't know how badly she's hurt. 

 

The elevator is a mercifully smooth ride, at least until it reaches the bottom. It hits the ground with a jolt, sending him and Jyn spinning into the control board. She pulls him back up to his feet as the doors slide open. 

 

The light is blinding as they step onto the sand. Overhead, tie fighters and rebel x wings chase each other across the sky. The air smells of smoke, and they have to step over a pile of bodies as they leave the bunker-like doorway of the tower. 

 

Jyn is looking to the left, probably scanning for enemies, when he hears her breath catch. He turns to look where she's staring, her eyes wide and glistening. Chirrut’s body grins cheerfully at them, collapsed next to a console. Before he can fully process that the monk is gone, Jyn is gasping  again and pulling them forwards.

 

“Jyn—” his complaint is cut off when he sees where they're headed. On the edge of a shallow ditch sits Bodhi, and beyond him slumps Baze. The pilot is crumpled, his expression hopeless. When he sees them coming, his face lights up and he tries to stand. 

 

He only makes it halfways before he falls back to his knees. Cassian sees a flash of burnt skin as Bodhi collapses. The captain’s throat tightens, but he keeps charging forwards with Jyn. As they reach Bodhi, she pulls Cassian down so they slide in next to him. 

 

They end up sitting, preventing him from trying to stand again. Bodhi is babbling, a rush of happy words too quick to understand. Neither Jyn nor Cassian pay attention to his words, instead reaching out and pulling him forwards.

 

He tumbles into the tangle of jyn-and-cassian, his chest colliding with Cassian’s and his thighs sliding across Jyn’s lap. He ends up sitting on jyn and leaning into cassian. The contact sends a jolt of joy through cassian, but he pushes it away in favor of looking at Bodhi’s back. 

 

Jyn hisses next to him, staring at the bloody and blistered mess of flesh. Cassian presses a hand to Bodhi’s chest, trying to ignore the fact that it’s shaking. “What the hell did you run into?” He demands, harsher than he should have, considering that Bodhi’s face is tearstained and he's gripping Jyn’s hand like it's the only thing keeping him alive. 

 

Bodhi stares at him, eyes bright and wet. “Someone threw a grenade in the ship.” Jyn curses, and cassian can see her tighten her grip on Bodhi’s hand. He feels like he’s just been punched in the gut. Despite seeing chirrut dead, and knowing Baze is too, the thought of Bodhi blown to pieces fills him with a fresh wave of horror. 

 

He pulls Bodhi in with the hand on his chest and reaches out for jyn with the other. Bodhi buries his head in cassian’s neck, wetting his skin with tears. Jyn grabs the captain’s offered hand and pulls herself close to Bodhi’s side. She’s careful to avoid his back, but obviously wants to be as close as possible. She lays her head on cassian's shoulder.

  
Over Bodhi’s shoulder, Cassian sees the Death Star pull into position over the planet.


	3. no way out

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The trio is captured and brought off Scariff. Bodhi learns who they're being taken to.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tw: this chapter involves a panic attack, not graphically described. It also involves collars and lots of choking. They're not used in a sexual way, purely a way to control prisoners. However, they are in there a lot.

 

\---------------------jyn pov----------------

 

The roar of an engine breaks the calm that’s fallen over the three. A ship flies over them, driving desperately for outer space. It’s followed by a multitude of others: every type of imperial ship, from tie fighters to cargo ships. The imperials can see the Death Star charging its weapon, and no orders can keep them grounded when there’s a chance to live. 

 

Another ship roars towards the three rebels, but this one doesn't go over their heads. It rushes closer, and puts down right next to them. It's a large cargo ship, and the rebels stare at it in astonishment. They're distracted from the unexpected rescue by a crack in the distance; a green bolt strikes the ocean. While they're busy staring at the explosion, the ship’s door flies open.

 

Stormtroopesr jump out and onto the beach. Jyn and cassian tense, tipping Bodhi off  to the danger. But, before he can turn his head to see exactly what's coming, the troopers are on him. They grab his arms and haul him off his friends. He screams, panicked and pained, driving Jyn to her feet. 

 

She leaps at them, anger wiping the pain of her bad leg from her mind. Before she can reach them, she's yanked back. Cassian has caught her arm, stopping her movement abruptly. She snarls, feeling betrayed by his interference. Bodhi has disappeared into the ship, but she can hear him scream again. 

 

The stormtroopers are advancing towards them. Cassian pulls her close, pressing her into a hug. Then he's pushing her towards the troopers, screaming after her:

 

“Jyn, go!”

 

 She collides with a trooper, and her hands are cuffed behind her before she can struggle.

 

Another trooper approaches cassian. He puts his hands up and lets himself be cuffed. Jyn is being dragged towards the door, and he's dragged along behind her. She finally finds her voice again:

 

“what the hell, cassian?!?” 

 

His eyes flit back to her for a minute, but he doesn't reply. He just keeps staring past the ship at something she can't see.

 

Her fear of the storm troopers is momentarily overwritten by her fear of the Death Star. 

 

_ The wave...it's coming. That's what cassian’s staring at.  _

 

She's shoved into the darkness of the doorway. Another trooper grabs her and pushes her towards the back of the ship. 

 

She can't see where she's going, but she does hear Bodhi’s voice, growing louder as she's marched deeper into the darkness. He slowly become understandable, and a dim light grows along with his voice. She steps into the small cargo area, lit by one lamp, in the middle of a sentence: “-—assian and Jyn you bastards!”

 

He’s screaming into the helmeted face of the stormtrooper pushing him onto a bench along the back wall. She feels a rush of pride in her new found family; Bodhi is still fighting, despite the fear written across his face. When he sees her come in,he visibly relaxes. He stops resisting and sits on the bench.

 

Jyn doesn't fight the stormtrooper as he leads her over to the bench. He pushes her down on Bodhi’s left. There's a familiar jerk as the ship takes off, turning her controlled fall into a tumble. She manages to make it onto the bench, but hits Bodhi on the way down. From the way he yelps, she must have pushed his back into the wall.

 

By the time she’s upright again, cassian is being lead in. Bodhi is glued to her side, nervously watching the storm troopers. Cassian sits to his right. Once he’s bracketed by his friends, more tension leaves the pilot’s body.

The trooper that brought in cassian reaches into this belt and pulls out three metal rings. They're small, about as big as a human palm, and have one blinking red light on the side. She's never seen them before, but Bodhi panics as soon as he sees them. He starts thrashing, trying to get away. Cassian grabs him and holds him still, undeterred by the words Bodhi is frantically muttering.

 

The trooper approached Jyn first. He looms over her, and she stares defiantly into the dark plastic where his eyes should be. He flicks the hand holding one ring, and device activates with the movement. The ring grows, and splits so that it's more of a semicircle. She looks at the familiar size and dread fills her stomach. 

 

_ It's a collar.  _

 

She tries to stay calm as the trooper leans closer and fits the metal around her neck. She feels it shrink to fit her neck exactly: not tight enough to choke, but too tight to get anything under it. The gap from before is gone: its become a solid ring again. She has never been collared before, but she remembers the miserable faces of slaves she's passed in markets and pleasure planets. The cold metal against her throat makes her feel sick, and she has to fight down a wave of gagging.

 

\----------------bodhi pov-----------------

 

As soon as he sees the rings, Bodhi knows what they are. They're collars, and the most high tech in the empire. He's only ever seen them on one or two prisoners, and only on those going to Darth Vader. He remembers why they can't be used on any other prisoners: as soon as they are sealed, the only way to get them off without killing the prisoner is with the force.

 

_ They're taking us to darth Vader. Oh force, Vader himself. He's going to torture us and kill us, we have to get away! Get away at all costs!  _ Bodhi throws himself up, blocked slightly by Jyn and cassian’s bodies. 

 

Before he can get very far, there's an arm around his bruised stomach, pulling him back down. It’s cassian holding him down; Bodhi has to explain to him!

 

“Cassian, we can't let them put those on us! If they do, we'll never be free again. Nothing in the universe but Vader will be able to free us if those are on us!” 

 

Cassian doesn't listen. Bodhi’s explanation is cut off by the click of a collar being activated. The trooper fits it around Jyn’s neck and seals it. Bodhi sags, all of the fight leaving him. Escaping, now, would require abandoning Jyn. He couldn't leave her, and he knows cassian wouldn't either.

 

The trooper steps towards Bodhi, clicking another collar open. Bodhi’s so terrified at this point that cassian's restraining arm feels like a comfort. He can't stop himself from trembling as the metal is pressed to his neck. It glides shut and pulls tight against his neck. Almost instantly, Bodhi can't deal with it. It feels too constricting, too cold. It feels like Vader is reaching through space and choking him.

 

He starts to gasp for air; he can feel a panic attack coming. He's pulled out of his panic by Jyn. She'ys grabbed his hand and it talking to him. He isn't focusing on what she's saying, but her voice is calm and constant. He closes his eyes and listens to her, trying to slow his breathing. A third click startles him; cassian must have been collared.

 

He's almost calm again when the trooper walks past. Bodhi opens his eyes and watches the man hit a button on the wall. Suddenly, he's yanked back towards the wall by his neck. Jyn and cassian hit the wall first, since they are sitting up. Bodhi has a longer way to go, and by the time he reaches the wall, he's choking. 

 

The collars drag them against the wall, then lock there. Once the pressure is off his throat, he starts hacking, struggling to breathe again.

 

“They must be magnetically attracted to the wall” he manages to wheeze. 

 

Cassian looks at him worriedly.

 

“ your throat okay, Bodhi?”.

 

Before the pilot can respond, the ship lurches, throwing the three prisoners to the side. With nothing connecting them to the ship but the collars, they all begin choking. Over the sound of their gasping, Bodhi can hear the storm troopers yelling. Outside the small window in their section, he can see an approaching wave of water, sand, and debris. 

 

The trooper who attached them to the wall hits a second button. Seat belts clank out of the wall and strap them in. 

 

_ Thank the force for safety regulations  _ He thinks. 

 

The ship is screaming as the pilot guns it, heading straight up. Bodhi recognizes a last ditch effort, and hopes the engines hold together. The wave of water slowly recedes, but it was too close for comfort. 

 

From the angry yelling in the cockpit, the storm troopers agree with him.

 

The ship pulls out into open space, and quickly jumps to light speed. Any joy at their miraculous escape disappears underneath the smothering fear of what comes next.

 

Next to him Jyn shifts, struggling to turn towards him, without success. The collar stops her from moving her neck at all, and digs into her neck if she turns her head. She stops trying and speaks:

 

“Cassian. They saved our lives.” 

 

She pauses, the silence hanging heavy. Cassian doesn't reply. She continues, her voice shaking with contained rage.

 

“But will it be any better than death?” 

 

Cassian stares at the wall, and his voice shakes as he responds: “I couldn't lose you. Where there's life, there's hope.”

 

Bodhi doesn't know if he's inspired or insulted. Jyn, apparently, decides upon insulted. She leans as far forwards as she can with the collar pulling her back, and focuses her venom on Cassian.

 

“You've damned us to a life of torture and the most explanation you can give is: I didn't want to let you go?!”. 

  
Cassian just stares forwards, and eventually Jyn turns her stare away from him. Bodhi is too terrified to be deterred by the anger boiling in Jyn’s mind; he reaches out and takes her hand. He takes cassian’s as well, linking all three rebels together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The way I understand Cassian, he's always had to survive so that he can get his information back to the rebels. He reacted on instinct, getting Jyn and Bodhi off Scariff any way he could. I hope that doesn't seem ooc :(


	4. Meet Arc

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jyn and Bodhi are discovered as traitors. The cargo ship arrives on Mustafar to deliver them to Darth Vader.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tw: this chapter contains violence. It’s not gory or anything, but it does involve electrocution and good old fashioned beating. Also another non graphic panic attack.
> 
> Arc, and any other side characters, will be referred to using gender neutral they/them.

 

 

\-----------cassian pov----------------

 

Cassian stays quiet, trying to ignore Jyn’s simmering anger and Bodhi's infectious fear. He focuses on the conversation in the cockpit rather than his silent friends.

 

A tinny trooper voice snarls: “ We almost died because you wanted to show off and catch some rebels!” 

 

An unfiltered voice, probably the pilot, replys: “ Hey, we made it out! Stop yelling at me!”

 

A second trooper interrupts the argument: “ There's no use crying over spilt milk, Arc. We're alive, we have the prisoners, why worry about what could've happened?”

 

Arc grumbles but subsides. The second trooper pipes up again: “Why don't you go take a look at our prisoners, see if they match any of the rebels in the database?”

 

Clanking footsteps approach; plastic armor on metal deck plates. Bodhi’s trembling jumps up a level; he begins to crush Cassian’s hand. The trooper steps through the doorway. Their helmet Wobbles slightly as they address them: “Stay still or this will take longer than it needs to.” Cassian recognizes the voice as Arc.

 

Arc steps forward and holds a small box up to Cassian's face. A bright light shines out of it, sweeping over his face.  _  It must be a facial recognition hologram. Fortunately, they never got a good picture of me, so it won't know who I am.  _ The trooper huffs in irritation as the holo beeps, signaling no match.

 

Bodhi goes perfectly still as the trooper moves over to him; a prey animal cowering underneath a predator’s stare. Cassian remembers the wanted hologram rotating in Jedda’s marketplace. Cold fear trickles down his spine.  _ They definitely have his information. _

 

The recognition holo starts its screeching alarm, alerting its owner to a match. Cassian can't see the trooper smile, but the faceless being seems smug as they tap at the screen. The trooper stops in surprise for a moment. The three rebels go still, recognizing that they are in more danger than before.

 

The trooper’s head tilts up to look at Bodhi’s face. Then they’re rising to their full height, looming over Bodhi. Almost too fast to see, definitely too fast to avoid, the stormtrooper lashes out. They hit Bodhi square in the face, sending him jerking away, hair flying. Bodhi can only recoil so far before he hits the limit of the collar, but he leans into Cassian anyways, trying to get away. 

 

Jyn growls in his defense, but they all think she can't actually do anything. Blood starts to drip from Bodhi’s forehead: he has a deep gash over his eyebrow where the trooper’s armor cut into him. 

 

The trooper laughs, a strange, twisted noise through his voice modulator, and jeers at Bodhi: “you’re the defector, huh? The cause of all this? We lost a lot of people today, I hope you’re ready to pay for that.” Bodhi’s mouth works, like he's trying to come up with a defense. He stays silent though, and the trooper readies themself to strike again.

 

Before they can hit Bodhi again, Jyn is lashing out. She slides as far down as possible, so that the collar is all the way up at her chin. Then, she throws her hips forward, giving her legs as much reach as possible. She kicks out, hitting the trooper in the back of the knees with one leg. Then, when they stumble forwards, she trips them with the other.

 

They crumple forwards into the bench and the people sitting on it. Cassian punches them in the gut as soon as they're in arms reach. His knuckles split against the armor, but there’s a harsh puff of breath behind the faceplate, so the trooper felt it too. Jyn is getting an arm around Arc’s neck when the trooper yells. 

 

There's clanking in the hallway, a second trooper rushing into the cargo room. Instead of throwing themselves into the fray to help Arc, they dart over to the wall and hit a button. Any thoughts are wiped from Cassian’s brain as electricity pours into him from the collar. He convulses, and Jyn and Bodhi thrash next to him.

 

The pain continues for what feels like forever, until the collars finally shut off. Even with the shock stopped, Cassian can't get himself to move. His muscles are twitching uncontrollably, and he hears Arc drop to the floor.  _ Jyn must be just as incapacitated as I am. _ He waits for the twitching to subside, praying that the other trooper won't turn the collars on again.

 

Next to him, he hears Bodhi cursing through gritted teeth; he seems to be recovering faster than Cassian and Jyn. Arc has picked themself off the floor and the other trooper is checking them over.

 

“You okay?”

 

Arc’s voice is slightly pained as they reply: “I'm fine, the armor protected me. Still gonna beat the shit out of that girl, though.” 

 

“Don't leave too many marks or the officers will be after you. Might be better to just use the collars.”

 

Arc strides over to the wall. Cassian can hear Bodhi whimper before he’s convulsing again. It hurts, and he almost wants to be unconscious, but the electricity won't let him pass out. The pain is bright and constant, and when it finally stops, he feels like it's sucked all the energy out of his body.

 

Bodhi slumps next to him, his eyes closed and his eyebrows pulled together in pain. Jyn sits stiffly next to the pilot, staring blankly at the ceiling. A muscle in her jaw twitches, like she’s holding back a scream. Arc’s laughter returns, and Cassian flinches.  _ Please, not the taser again.  _ Thankfully, the trooper steps towards them and away from the collar controls.

 

The imperial settles in front of Jyn and grabs her face, forcing her to look at them. They pull out the recognition holo again, snarling: “You interrupted this last time, but I think you'll be more cooperative now.” The blue light washes over Jyn’s features, and the device starts screeching again.

 

Arc laughs, jeering: “two matches? We must have got the cream of the rebel crop!” The stormtrooper guarding the door laughs, an even more unpleasant noise than Arc’s cackling. 

 

Arc looks down at the screen, then back up at Jyn. “Why miss Erso, we didn't know we had an officer's daughter on board! If we had, we would arranged a special welcome for you!” 

 

Jyn has recovered enough to glare at her tormentors, and bares her teeth at Arc as they stand up. “I'm sure we can pull something together.” the trooper growls. A second later, they're grabbing Jyn’s shirt and pulling her towards them. The movement grinds the collar into her neck, and she wheezes. 

 

Before she can prepare herself, she's being slammed back into the wall. Any air she was able to pull in is forcibly expelled as she hits the wall. Cassian is tense, ready to leap to her defense. He has to remind himself:  _ There's nothing you can do. You can't reach Arc, and even if you could, you’d only get everyone shocked again. _

 

The knowledge that he can't help Jyn rankles, but he focuses on Bodhi instead. He pulls him close to his side, as far away from Jyn and Arc as possible. The trooper’s rage is focused on Jyn for now, but it could easily switch to Bodhi. It’s better to keep Bodhi out of the way and hope Arc has forgotten about the deserter.

 

Arc keeps pulling Jyn forwards and slamming her back. Bodhi buries his head in Cassian's chest, trying to block out the sound of Jyn hitting the wall. Finally, Arc stops throwing her around. He steps back and Jyn stays slumped against the wall. She’s finally accepted that staying still is the better option.

 

Arc dusts themself off and steps back over to the other trooper. Arc orders their partner: “Get on the radio and tell the Allecto that we have the leaders of the rebel attack on Scariff. Also, tell them to alert Lord Vader that we've brought him prisoners to interrogate.”

 

\------------------Jyn pov--------------------

 

Once the storm trooper stops tormenting her, Jyn stays quiet and tries to recover. Her muscles ache from the electricity, and she can almost feel the bruises forming on her torso. Fortunately, her ribs don't seem to be broken, just bruised.

 

The fearful anticipation hanging amongst the three rebels only grows as their trip extends. It takes forever; they reach a star destroyer first. After a long, angry conversation, their cargo ship gets rerouted. It takes multiple light speed jumps and multiple conversations with pissy imperials before they reach their destination. 

 

Finally, they arrive at Mustafar. As the ship comes out of hyperspace and enters orbit, the rebels try to prepare themselves. The trip itself was nerve wracking: they spent the time afraid that Arc would come back and attack them again. But actually reaching their destination, and facing the fact that Darth Vader waits for them, is far worse than the trip.

 

They have to work Bodhi down from another panic attack; Cassian holds him close and sings a lullaby, and she holds his hand and pets his hair. They manage to calm him down, but he’s shaking and exhausted by the end of it.

 

Jyn feels like panicking herself; Darth Vader has been her bogeyman since she was very young. With her father being hunted by the empire, young Jyn had nightmares of Darth Vader appearing in her home. Once she was abandoned by Saw, she was put in an imperial prison, where the majority of the prisoners were afraid of Vader appearing in their cells. She is terrified of Vader, but she's holding it together for her friends.

  
Once the cargo ship contacts the surface of the planet, they are cleared to land. As they skim over the lava, even the imperials become nervous. They approach a dark castle, perched over a river of lava. Jyn holds hands with Bodhi and he grabs Cassian’s hand, interconnecting all three. They cling to each other as the ship lands on the pad behind the castle.


	5. Darth Vader arrives like the extra bitch he is

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The prisoners are brought to Darth Vader.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Doubled_Helix left a really nice comment so I managed to get this chapter done early! In general, this fic will update weekly.
> 
> tw:this is the chapter where the mind rape actually happens. Darth Vader forcibly reads the rebels minds. I don't know if this would be triggering, but I wanted to let you know it's there. Also, there’s some weird shit at the end that involved gore and disturbing images (it’s Bodhi remembering the tentacle monster btw).

 

\----------------Bodhi pov---------------------

 

The storm troopers disconnect them from the back wall and march them off the ship. The world outside is all black: black stone cliffs, black stone castle, black armored imperials waiting at the bottom of the ramp. The imperials outside of the ship are an entirely different breed than the ones who captured them: they are silent, cold and cruel. They are professional, and their only wish is to follow Vader’s will.

 

The black armored troopers march them from the open air of the pad into the suffocatingly stuffy halls of the castle. The clanking of their footsteps echoes through the hallways, rebounding and growing in the tall ceilings. The castle is featureless, utilitarian and intimidating. Bodhi expects Darth Vader around every corner.

 

Eventually they are brought into a smaller stone room. It feels claustrophobic because the roof is so much lower than in the hallways. Their collars are attached to one of the walls and their guards leave. The small room, the absence of imperials, the collars, all add to the trapped feeling until they are almost mad with anticipation.

 

At last, a door hisses open. From within comes the signature wheeze of Vader’s respirated breathing. He steps out of the darkness and into their small room. His presence seems to expand and fill the room, pressing against the low ceiling and curling around his victims like a living thing. 

 

_ Scratch that, his presence might actually be curling around us; he is a force user after all.  _ The dark lord steps forwards, approaching the prisoners in a slow, predatory stroll. His mask rotates lazily as he looks over the three rebels. 

 

He stops in front of Bodhi and addresses him in a mechanical rasp: “Bodhi Rook.” 

The pilot tries to meet Vader's dead stare and quickly fails. 

 

“You have betrayed the empire and given vital information to our enemies.” Bodhi quails and drops his gaze to the floor.

 

Vader steps closer, looming over Bodhi. He reaches out, fingers brushing over the pilot’s face. Bodhi gasps and tries to pull his head away from the intruding hand. Even though the cold metal of Vader’s fingers is very different from the slimy tentacles of the truth monster, having someone touch his face without permission makes him feel sick.

 

_ Get away from me...stop touching me! _

 

Vader digs his fingers in harder and booms: “You will show me how you escaped, and how you helped the rebels.”

 

\---------------------Jyn pov-------------------

 

Jyn feels a spike of fear when Vader enters the room. When he stalks towards Bodhi, her fear mingles with concern for her friend. The pilot flattens himself against the wall, trying to get away from the hand Vader is extending towards him. 

 

Vader says something that sounds like an order, presses his hand flat against Bodhi’s forehead, and then Bodhi is screaming. He doesn't move, doesn't lash out or try to escape. He stays still except for the screaming. They're long, drawn out screams, and his eyes are starting to fill with tears.

 

To her surprise, Cassian is the first to break; he leans forward and yells at Vader: 

 

“What are you doing to him!?”

 

Vader’s mask rotates towards Cassian and he speaks:

“I have no doubt that you will resist interrogation, and the rebellion would have ensured that torture is ineffective. I am using the most efficient tool at my disposal. The force allows me to reach into your mind and simply take what information I need.”

 

Jyn swallows, her throat suddenly dry. She and Bodhi don't have any information about the rebellion to lose, but Cassian certainly does. And, from the way Bodhi is screaming, having the information removed must be painful.  _  How can he do this? What evil power allows him to do the impossible and read our minds? _

 

Bodhi’s screaming stops and Vader pulls his hand away from his forehead. Jyn has a moment to be grateful that Bodhi isn't in pain anymore before the dark lord turns towards her. Bodhi is on the far left, she is in the middle, and Cassian is on her right. She almost wishes Cassian was in her spot, that way she would have been the last one he reached. Vader looms closer and closer, until he passes her by. 

 

He stops in front of Cassian and extends his arm again. “ You are not in our rebel database. I suppose there will be much useful information in you.” Jyn looks away as he touches Cassian’s forehead and focuses on Bodhi instead. 

 

The pilot is as curled up as he can be when held upright by the collar. He's crying silently, tears rolling down his cheeks.  His eyes are unfocused and empty, staring unmoving at the floor. When she waves her hand, trying to get his attention, he doesn't seem aware of her at all.

 

Her inspection of Bodhi is interrupted by a choked scream from Cassian. She turns back to look at him and finds he is reacting quite differently than Bodhi. His body is thrashing, as if he wants to fight Vader but can't quite control his limbs. His eyes are rolled back into his head, so far that his eyes look all white. 

 

Vader releases Cassian, who collapses bonelessly against the wall. Then he focuses on Jyn. 

 

She feels panic rising. Both Bodhi and Cassian are unresponsive; she's facing down Darth Vader by herself. 

 

He reaches out, touches her, and suddenly her mind is no longer her own.

 

\----------------Bodhi pov--------------------

  
_ The shadow man is gone. He went away. Maybe I'm safe now. Will he come back? I don't want him to come back, please, he makes me hurt— _ sharp spears of pain, stabbing deep into him and ripping pieces of him away. Cutting him open and peeling back his ribs and leaving his insides to be picked through— _ he makes me hurt and leaves dirt under my skin. I'm dirty and grimy and...he makes me hurt like  _ **_it_ ** _ did, wrapping around me, inside of me, no, no, no— _ slime dripping down his cheek, trickling over his lips and inside, tasting of blood and rust— _ don't think about it don't think don't think it's over now over— _ soft flesh wrapping around his face and pressing against his eyes tentacles pushing into his ears into his brain?— _ don't think don't don't don't— _ not himself anymore no control over himself speaking and speaking and telling everything you are not yourself you are not yourself you are being used be useful be useful  **tell the truth.**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter was short but had very high pain content lol


	6. aftermath

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The trio tries to recover. Bodhi's trauma from the truth monster has been reinforced.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tw: this chapter contains self harm. It's not especially violent or graphic, but it is there.
> 
> Bodhi is in pretty bad shape here guys :/

 

\---------------cassian pov------------------

 

Cassian aches. Deep inside, he aches, a wrong sort of pain, like he’s pulled a muscle he didn't know he had. He wants nothing more than to recede into himself. He wants to go to sleep and not hurt and not remember and never wake up again. He lets himself hide, curl into himself; no one can hurt you here, no one can touch you here…

 

Someone screams.

 

He hears the scream as if it's through layers of water, distorted and distant. But he still recognizes it. 

 

_ Jyn.  _

 

He has to help her, he wants to help her. He’ll pull himself out of his safe place if he can stop her from screaming.

 

When he comes back to himself, he doesn't hear Jyn anymore. More importantly, he doesn't hear Darth Vader's breathing anymore. The relief he feels when he realizes Vader is gone is so intense he almost cries. The euphoric relief lasts for a moment and then begins to fade.

 

Thud. Thud. Thud. 

 

There's a rhythmic noise that wasn't there before Vader hurt him. It's a wrong sounding noise, that makes his skin crawl.

 

_ I know where I've heard that noise before.  _

 

It was in some outer planet market, a rough place. A pickpocket picked the wrong target and got nabbed before he could escape with his prize. The alien he had tried robbing was burly and unusually strong. They were also very unhappy with the pickpocket.

 

The alien had grabbed the pickpocket and slammed him into a wall, over and over again, until his ribs broke and he spit blood. Even then, they kept slamming him into the wall, not stopping until the robber went deathly still.

 

The pickpocket couldn't have been more than thirteen years old. Cassian has never forgotten that sound, and he hears it again now: flesh and bone against unyielding wall.

 

_ It's not as loud or low; probably a smaller surface area. _

 

He finally prys his eyes open. The first thing he sees is Jyn. She's slumped against the wall, eyes rolled back in her head. She's not moving, so she can't be making the noise. He looks past her and sees Bodhi. His eyes are screwed shut and he's biting his lip, as if he's nervous. He’s also slamming his head back into the wall repeatedly. 

 

“Bodhi!” Cassian shouts in shock. He doesn't know why the pilot is hurting himself, but he can see a smear of red on the stone and knows he needs to get him to stop. “Bodhi, I need you to listen to me!”.

 

\---------------Bodhi pov---------------------

 

Bodhi is slamming his head into the wall trying not to think— **_it_ ** _ wrapping around him, the shadow man man burying his claws deep inside—  _ about anything. Suddenly, he hears a voice. Hazily, he tries to figure out who it is. He can't quite tell, but he knows they are a friend.

 

“Bodhi, I need you to look at me, I need you to tell me you're okay.”

 

Bodhi wants to make the friend-voice happy, but there is no way he is opening his eyes.  _ If I do, I might make the shadow man come back. _

 

But he still wants to make friend voice happy... _ maybe I can skip the first part. He wants me to tell him I'm okay. I can pretend i’m okay and then maybe he'll be happy.  _

 

Bodhi has stopped hitting his head against the wall because he's so focused on working through his options. He keeps his eyes shut but manages to speak in a wavering, quiet voice:

 

“I'm okay”.

 

He can hear the voice sigh, a soft puff of breath.

 

The voice keeps talking, quiet and calm: “Bodhi, I need you to listen to me. Do not hit your head, stop hurting yourself, okay?”

 

Bodhi freezes, his teeth buried in his lip. He can taste the iron tang of blood and feel the ache of a split lip. The pain is satisfying, harsh enough to pull him away from his thoughts and keep him focused on himself. It keeps him grounded, secured inside his body and not washed away into memories.

 

The voice continues: “Bodhi, hurting yourself worries me, it makes me upset. Will you stop, for me?”

 

Bodhi hesitates, torn between two needs. He has to stay focused, not think anymore. But he also needs to help his friend.  _ What if you don't stop, and he gets angry? What if he leaves you? What if the shadow man comes back and you're all alone? _

 

The thought of being alone again, undefended again, helpless again, terrifies Bodhi more than his memories do. He quickly opens his mouth, ripping his teeth free of his lip. He leans forward, pulling his injured head as far away from the wall as possible.

 

“Yes! Thank you, Bodhi.” comes the voice. 

 

A small smile creeps onto Bodhi’s face, smoothing some of the pained wrinkles. The next request, however, throws him back into fear.

 

“Can you open your eyes to Bodhi? I need you to look up, I need you to see what's going on around us, okay?” 

 

_ No, no, no! If I open my eyes, the shadow man will come back, I have to keep him away, please… _

 

\-------------------cassian pov-----------------

 

Cassian needs Bodhi to open his eyes. He needs him to see what's around him. If Darth Vader comes back, or if any other imperials come in, Bodhi needs to be ready. If an opportunity to escape arises, he needs Bodhi to be aware so they can get out quickly.

 

_ Jyn is still out of it, and if she's in the same state as I was, she won't be recovered for a while. Maybe never, if we don't give her a reason to come back to us. I need Bodhi’s help with her. _

 

However, asking Bodhi to open his eyes does more harm than good. The pilot tries to curl up into a defensive ball, shaking. Cassian frantically tries to undo the damage he's just done: 

 

“Never mind Bodhi, it's okay. You don't have to open your eyes! Just stay still for me, okay? I'm going to work with Jyn for a moment.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'd like to explain a little about Bodhi’s refusal to open his eyes. Part of the way Bodhi is dealing with what happened is he’s making a bargain: if I don't open my eyes, Vader will stay away. This will show up a couple more times, so I wanted to explain why he is so devoted to keeping his eyes closed.


	7. info dump

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is kinda boring, sorry! I thought it might be important to establish how much Darth Vader actually knows before continuing.

The base commander flinches when the door slides open. He doesn't need to see who has entered the command room; he can feel his cold presence and hear his rough breathing. He steels himself and turns to face the dark lord. 

 

“Lord Vader.” 

 

A slight bow, then rise. 

 

_ Don't look at his face.  _

 

_ “ _ Has your interrogation been successful?” 

 

The giant glides further into the room, then pauses.

 

“Indeed it has, commander. The rebels are determined to resist, but do not have any mental shielding. I have learned some information about them that I wish to enter into the database.”

 

“Of course, my lord.” He walks over to a command panel and calls up a hologram. He orders it to record, then moves aside so Vader can stand in front of the panel.

 

“Retrieve file of Bodhi Rook.”

 

The hologram pulls up his image and his imperial record.

 

“Begin new section: rebel activities.” 

 

The hologram beeps it’s readiness.

 

“Bodhi Rook was mentored by the traitor, Galen Erso. He has an increased knowledge of engineering and imperial technology for this reason. He received the Death Star information from Erso, and carried it to the rebels. Once he had delivered his message, he stayed with the rebels and joined the strike force Rogue one.”

 

“Hologram. pause Rook file, define term: Rogue one.” The hologram beeps again.

 

“Rogue one is the strike force that completed the attack on the imperial base on Scariff, and leaked the Death Star plans to the rebel alliance. It consisted of five main members and about twenty infantry. Names of main five: Jyn Erso, Cassian Andor, Bodhi Rook, and two other unknown beings. 

 

The Rogue one strike force infiltrated the Scariff base in a stolen cargo ship. Once on the planet, they split into three groups: Andor and Erso, who stole and transmitted the plans. The two unknown leaders and the infantry, who created a distraction. Bodhi Rook, who alerted the rebel fleet to the incoming transmission and prepared the transmitter. 

 

Rogue one succeeded in their mission. All members died on Scariff except for Andor, Erso, and Rook.”

 

“Hologram: open new file. Name: Cassian Andor. Rebel rank unknown. Skills include assassination and piloting. Worked in rebel intelligence. End file.”

 

“Hologram: retrieve file of Jyn Erso. Add onto criminal record: rebel activities. 

Jyn Erso began assisting the rebel alliance after receiving the message from Galen Erso. She planned the Rouge one attack and was the one to transmit the Death Star plans.” 

 

“Hologram. End recording and save.” 

 

Vader turns back to the commander. “I have received much information from the rebels, however there is still more to be learned from them. Have a squad of stormtroopers move them from the interrogation room to a cell.”

 

“A cell, sir? You don't want them separated?”

 

“No commander. Keep them together in one cell. They have an unusually close relationship; it will be a powerful tool to use against them.”

 

The commander bows again. “Yes sir.”

 

Darth Vader begins to stride out of the room. He pauses suddenly, his mask scanning the room slowly. Nervously, the commander speaks up: “are you alright sir?” 

 

Vader stays still for a couple more moments, the silence grating on the commander’s nerves. The entire command room is frozen, fearing an outburst of vader’s rage. 

 

Finally the dark lord speaks: “There is a flicker in the force.”

 

He storms out of the room, the door closing behind him with a loud snap. The room lets out a collective sigh of relief.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter we revisit Baze and Chirrut.


	8. ghost space husbands

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope I don't offend anyone by giving Chirrut’s sight back, I don't mean to erase his disability. I headcanon he lost his sight when the temple at Jedda was destroyed, and, as far as I know, being a force ghost heals any wounds you received during your life. I hope that's okay!
> 
> Kit fisto uses Ze/Zir pronouns btw.

 

_ Chirrut feels wonderful. The force flows through him, more complete and powerful than before. He basks in its energy, feels it flow and eddy around his form.  _

 

_ Not only can he feel the force, but he can see it too. The colors dance around him, beautiful and varied shades of blue. It's been so long since he could see, so long since the empire blinded him and took their temple from them...he forces himself to stop thinking of the past and instead focus on the present. _

 

_ The colors dance around him, bright and gentle. The force curls through him, energizing and joyful. _

 

_ But… _

 

_ There is something missing. _

 

_ A hole, which has never been empty before. A person, someone he needs, has been ripped away from him. _

 

_ Even in the glory and joy of being one with the force, he feels that emptiness. He misses it so much that it taints his joy, rips away the beauty of the force. _

 

_ He cries out, agonized; trying to fill the gaping emptiness.  _

 

Baze, my love! Where are you? 

 

_ His cry fades into the force, unheard. Chirrut feels despair rise in him. _

 

_ Then, something changes. _

 

_ The force swells, brighter than it was before. His pain begins to fade; the emptiness begins to fill. Chirrut turns, and there, behind him, is Baze. _

 

_ Chirrut is frozen for a moment by his beauty. He is clean and unharmed. His features are the same as always, but he glows with the force. He is no longer a person: he is pure energy, shining blue light.  _

 

_ Chirrut runs to him. There are tears in his eyes, but when they leak out of the corners, they simply return to the force around him. He is both himself and the force.  _

 

_ Baze’s arms wrap around him, soft without his armor. Baze holds him tight, almost too tight. Chirrut curls a lock of hair around his finger and stares into his eyes, overwhelmed by the love he feels.  _

 

_ Baze stares back, his arms shifting, hands coming up to cup Chirrut's face. They stare for another moment, simply taking in their togetherness. Then Baze begins to speak, stumbling over the words, his voice rough. _

 

Chirrut, I thought I'd lost you! I didn't believe...I didn't think...I would see you again…I thought the force was fake, that we could never join it, never be together... 

 

_ Tears run down his cheeks, shining like jewels. Chirrut laughs, joyous and loud.   _

 

Do you believe now, beloved? Is the force real?

 

_ Baze laughs too, a relieved, astonished chuckle.  _

 

Yes, it is perfectly real. And you are here with me!

 

_ He cuts off and just stares again. Chirrut leans towards him, presses their forehead together. Being close to Baze feels even better than being one with the force does. He leans closer and presses their lips together, feather light. He wants to put all the love he can't say into that touch, wants Baze to know how much he loves him. _

 

_ Baze kisses back, softly. There’s no lust in it, just pure affection. Chirrut feels like he is overflowing with love. He pulls away slightly and presses his lips to Baze’s cheek, his jawline, his neck. Gentle, soft kisses, desperate to share the love he’s full of.  _

 

_ Baze laughs when Chirrut hits the ticklish spot behind his ear. He buries his hands in Chirrut's short hair, glorying at being able to touch his beloved again.  _

 

_ Chirrut pulls his lips away from Baze’s neck and meets his eyes again. Baze is smiling, so wide his cheeks must be hurting. His smile is like the harsh, yellow sun of Jetta. He is home and beauty and strength and everything Chirrut needs. _

 

_ Baze’s face turns more serious and he whispers, soft and heartfelt:  _

 

I love you.

 

_ Chirrut feels like he will die of joy. He presses back into Baze and they rock back and forth, an uneven, loping dance. Baze hums an old earth waltz, and Chirrut feels the vibrations where his head rests against Baze’s collar bone. _

 

_ They trip in the middle of their dance, tumble to the floor that they can't see. They lie there, short of breath and intertwined. Their cuddling is interrupted by the arrival of another being. They feel the change in the force when ze arrives: a small shockwave that ripples through the force that are submerged in. _

 

_ Ze fades into being from the force. Long, spotted tentacles surrounds zir face, shifting methodically as ze walks. Zir eyes are large in their face, and ze have almost no nose. The bottom of zir face is filled with a bright, blunt toothed smile. _

 

_ Chirrut stares longer than is polite; he's never seen this species before. Baze leans over to whisper in his ear:  _

 

A nautolan. They defied the empire a few years ago and were exterminated.  __

 

_ Chirrut nods back. That explains why he's never seen one. _

 

_ The being doesn't seem upset by their whispering; ze stands calmly waiting, still smiling. Chirrut steps forward; he's always been the negotiator of the pair. He smiles back and asks the alien:  _

 

Who are you?

 

_ The alien steps closer, smile somehow growing larger. Ze seems delighted that Chirrut has decided to speak to zir.  _

 

I doubt my name means anything to you, but I am called Kit Fisto.

 

_ Ze gives a strange, sweeping bow, tentacles curling. When ze returns to zis full height, ze waves and continues: _

 

It is a pleasure to meet you!

 

_ Chirrut bows back, Baze shifting behind him. He introduces himself and Baze, unsure what else to say to the stranger. The being nods to Baze and then addresses Chirrut again. _

 

You seem undisturbed by joining the force, but I am here to help you adjust. We want the process to be as painless as possible!

 

Who is we?  _ Growls Baze. _

 

_ Kit grins and motions at the light around them.  _

 

The Jedi, of course!

 

_ There are faint outlines of people, some humanoid, some not. They do not approach, simply watch. _

 

_ Chirrut sees Baze’s trigger finger twitching; he's itching for a blaster. The circle of wordless strangers is unnerving even to him, so he turns back to Kit. _

 

_ He looks over the being again, astonished.  _

 

The Jedi? So you must be one as well?

 

_ Ze nods, then corrects zirself. _

 

Yes, I am a Jedi. I was one of the council before I was murdered by emperor palpatine. However, you should not assume that everyone in the force is a Jedi. All sides of the force are one here, including the dark side. There are just as many sith here as there are Jedi, maybe more.

 

_ Chirrut finds it hard to speak. The be in the force itself, alongside the Jedi, is overwhelming. _

 

I never expected to have such an honor, that is not why I sacrificed myself…

 

_ At the mention of sacrifice, he is shunted away from his joy and back into what had happened on the beach. He spins to face Baze, frantic: _

 

Baze! We died, but what happened to the others? Did the signal make it through? Did little sister, Cassian, and Bodhi make it out?

 

_ Baze’s expression darkens. He turns away from Kit and stares out into the vast expanse of the force. _

 

Why don't we go find out?

 

_ Chirrut steps up to his side and grabs his hand. They are joined by a purpose now, and the strangers around them don't matter. They must find out what happened to their family, even if it means wandering through the force eternally. _

 

_ As they start walking, Kit Fisto runs up to them. _

 

Where are you going?

 

_ Ze calls, worry creasing zir face. _

 

We are going to find out what happened to those we left behind!  _ Chirrut yells back. _

 

_ The Jedi pushes in front of them. _

 

You aren't supposed to leave so soon!

 

_ Baze snarls and makes their intentions clear:  _ If you don't step aside, we will go through you.

 

_ Zir tentacles droop and zir face falls.  _

 

At least let me accompany you?  _ He asks. _

 

_ Chirrut nods in agreement before Baze can chase zir off. The Jedi smiles, less brightly than before, but returning to zir good mood.  _

 

How do we find someone alive?  _ Chirrut asks zir. _

 

You have to focus on them, and if you've used the force before, connect to it like usual. Think of them and see if you can feel where they are.

 

_ Chirrut can almost hear Baze's disbelief, but his partner stays quiet. Chirrut closes his eyes and reaches out to the force.  _

 

_ He connects much more quickly and more strongly than when he was alive. Being one with the force does wonders for your powers, apparently. He decides to look for Cassian first: Jyn should still be with him. Once he finds those two he can find Bodhi. _

 

_ He holds his last image of Jyn and Cassian in his head: the pair grim but determined; standing strong and silent inside the cargo ship. _

 

_ Slowly, there's a new feeling. It starts as a warmth, which develops into a tugging. Finally, he feels like there is a rope stretched between him and someplace he can't see. It must be where they are. _

 

_ He opens his newly seeing eyes and announces: _

 

I think I have them.

 

_ He starts following the feeling, Baze and Kit following behind him. _

 

_ They’ve been walking for about half an hour when the pain hits him. He feels their fear, their pain, their violation. He feels it as physical pain, but he can feel that to them it is more than that. _

 

_ He stumbles and Baze rushes forwards to support him. He ends up kneeling, Baze holding one of his arms, and Kit staring worriedly from above him. _

 

They're in pain, they're afraid, I can feel it! Something horrible is happening to them, we have to help them!

 

 _He rises and runs forwards, still following the feeling, which has strengthened the farther they've gone._ _Baze and Kit don't ask questions, just speed up to match his pace._

 

_ The feeling tugging him along continues to intensify, until it ends. He stands in the spot where he lost the feeling and looks around. It's the same featureless glow of blue-white energy. It looks exactly the same as the place they started. _

 

_ He turns to Kit for guidance.  _ What do we do now?

 

_ Kit grins and holds out both of his hands.  _

 

Now, you hold onto to me. Once you get more used to your current state of being, you'll be able to materialize yourselves. However, for now, you will have to be in contact with me so I can bring you into the physical world.

 

_ Baze looks skeptical again, but he doesn't argue. He takes one of Kit’s hands and Chirrut takes the other. Kit closes his eyes, and for a moment, they feel like they are falling through space. Then the feeling stops and they're back on solid ground. _

 

_ Chirrut opens his eyes and his pleased to find his eyes still work. He looks at his companions, who have turned into a dim blue outline of themselves. They are still recognizable, but they are also very obviously not alive. He looks down and notices he's in the same state. _

 

_ He scans their surroundings. There isn’t much to see: craggy black rocks, lots of lava, and one castle in the distance. _

 

_ Next to him Kit shifts nervously and, voice full of trepidation, mutters: _

 

Mustafar.

 


	9. Darth Vader VS Kit Fisto

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Nautolan is Kit Fisto's canon species, but I have no idea what happened to zir planet, so I made up a backstory for zir.

Darth Vader storms down the hallway. He's heading for his meditation room, hoping to figure out what is causing the disturbance in the force. Before he can make it there, the force twists for a moment, then smooths out again. The dark lord stops, looking around, searching for the disturbance, like a dog searching for a faint scent.

 

_ There. _

 

He catches an impression; blue light flickering across a polished stone floor. He turns around and heads back to the interrogation room.

 

\-----------------cassian pov---------------

 

Cassian ignores Bodhi for a moment and focuses on Jyn. She’s still spaced out, hidden inside her head. He can just barely reach her without choking himself. He stretches out a hand, hitting her arm. He strokes her bicep gently, hoping the contact will help wake her up.

 

He starts to speak, low and calming.

 

“Hey, Jyn. It's okay to come out now, Vader is gone. We're waiting for you, Jyn. We need you to come out. It's safe now and we want to see you. Can you come out, Jyn? Please?”

 

He may be making false promises, claiming that she’s safe, but he needs her to wake up. Not even because they might try to escape; he just knows that if she stays inside her own mind for too long then she'll never come back out.

 

His pleading doesn't seem to be working on Jyn, but his tone of voice at least seems to be soothing Bodhi. He keeps petting Jyn's arm, harder now, and starts trying to coax Bodhi’s eyes open. Finally, after a lot of begging and bargaining, Bodhi cracks his eyelids. 

 

He looks around through the slits, scanning the room. When his eyes land on Cassian, they open halfway. Cassian smiles and waves at the pilot, trying to coax him all the way out. Bodhi opens his eyes wide, staring at Cassian as if he's transfixed.

 

_ I wonder what he's thinking, why he's looking at me that way. _

 

_ \-------------------------------- _

 

Bodhi is thinking that Cassian is beautiful. He stares, tracing every elegant line of the captain’s face.

 

\-----------------------------

 

Cassian's wandering train of thought is cut off when stormtroopers burst into the room. Jyn remains undisturbed, but Bodhi stares at them, terrified. The troopers click a remote that releases their collars from the wall. Cassian considers attacking them, but now is not the time, not with Jyn essentially unconscious and Bodhi frozen with fear.

 

He lets the troopers grab his arms and push them into cuffs. A trooper hauls Jyn up from where she’s collapsed, takes note of her unresponsiveness, and throws her over their shoulder. Next to her, Bodhi is being cuffed like Cassian. 

 

_ For once it's a good thing he's not fighting them. Never would have thought I'd be saying that. _

 

The troopers march the prisoners out the door and starts down a hallway. Their travel is cut short when Darth Vader comes tearing around the corner, startling imperials and rebels alike. He stops, staring at the prisoners. Then, his gaze moves above and behind the frightened group.

 

\----------------Baze pov-----------------------

 

_ Chirrut has led them to this hellish planet, and now they're soaring towards the castle. They don't know for sure that their family is there, but it seems like the most likely place. Baze considers asking Kit how ze knows the planet, but right now he's too focused on helping his friends to work up much interest.  _

 

_ Instead, he holds Chirrut’s hand and watches the land pass beneath them. _

 

_ They reach the castle quickly. It’s an ugly thing, all black spires and blood red windows. They float through one of the walls and find themselves in an equally austere set of hallways. _

 

_ Chirrut's head snaps up and he turns towards Baze. _

 

I think I can feel them again!

 

_ Baze feels himself swell with pride; before, he didn't believe in the force and thus could not appreciate Chirrut’s power. Now, he watches his beloved’s skills and glories in them. _

 

Lead on then, beloved.

 

_Chirrut throws him a small smile and then they're moving again; racing through tall hallways and giant rooms. Chirrut follows a map only he can see, weaving from room to room and choosing between identical_ _hallways without hesitation._

 

_ They make a sharp turn and run into a group of people. Most of them are stormtroopers, menacing in their white armor. There are three drab spots amongst the white: Baze sees Cassian and Bodhi standing on their own and Jyn unconscious. _

 

_ Kit Fisto pushes in front of Baze and Chirrut, arms extended as if to shield them from an attack.  _

 

Anakin.  _ ze snarls. _

 

_ Baze sees Chirrut’s eyes track past the group and hears his gasp. He looks up too, and finds himself looking into the mechanical mask of Darth Vader.  _

 

If I had a blaster that bastard would have five holes in him by now  _ growls Baze. _

 

_ Chirrut pushes closer to Baze, looking for support. He looks at Kit and asks: _

 

He looks like he can see us. Can he? Are we in danger?

 

_ The alien Jedi replies: _

 

He can see us, but he cannot hurt us. We are dead already and the force protects us from pain.

 

_ Chirrut sighs.  _ Well, that’s useful.

 

_ He jumps when Darth Vader starts walking towards them, parting the sea of stormtroopers without a word. _

 

_ Kit pushes them towards the walls of the hallway.  _

 

I'll distract him, you go check on your friends. Just remember that you can't help them, you don't have a physical form!

 

\-----------------Vader pov---------------------

 

Vader runs into the squadron removing the prisoners. He pays them no mind, because his prey is floating over their heads. 

 

_ Three spirits. Two unknown, one that looks vaguely familiar.  _

 

The spirits confer for a moment. Vader watches them, then begins striding towards them. The people in the hallway get out of his way, and he continues to stare at the floating spirits.

 

The two unknowns dart away from the familiar spirit and head towards the prisoners. Vader ignores them. The familiar spirit seems to be in charge, and Vader refuses to ignore the itching of familiarity.  _ I have no idea where, but I have seen them somewhere before. _

 

He stops in front of the nautolan spirit and stares up into their face. 

 

“Who are you and why do you come here?”

 

Behind him he can hear the unknown spirits whispering, and can feel the stormtroopers staring. In their eyes, he is speaking to empty air.

 

The spirit stares down at him, anger and sorrow warring inside their large eyes. Eventually, they speak:

 

**I do not expect you to remember my name, Anakin. I am Kit Fisto, padawan of Soe and master of Nahdar Vebb. Why I come here is no business of yours, murderer-traitor-sith.**

 

Darth Vader’s rage rises at the use of his Jedi name, and at the Jedi who dares stand before him.

 

_ I do not remember this one, they must have been dead before I began hunting down Jedi. _

 

The force begins to gather around Vader, energy pooling, waiting for him to use. The stormtroopers begin to sweat inside their armor, Bodhi and Cassian try to hide behind their guards.

 

_ It is no matter. I will vanish then and return the force to how it should be: loyal to me and only me. _

 

Vader roars:

 

“Begone, Spirit! You are dead, and your world with you! Cease your meddling and leave me to my work!”

 

A wave of power rushes toward Kit Fisto. Ze blocks it, but is steadily pushed back by the waves of force.

 

**Time for us to go, Chirrut! We have to leave now, Baze!**

 

The two other spirits return to zir side and together they fade away. Darth Vader stands victorious amongst the scattered squadron. He turns, cape swirling around him, and snaps at the stormtroopers: 

  
“Get these prisoners to their cell, now!”.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A quick note about what Kit says when ze tells Vader zir name: I headcanon that jedi keep track of who's who's padawan and who's who's master. I remember Yoda was Dooku's master and it was a big deal, and since Jedi don't have blood family, I think they would think of their master and padawan(s) as their family line. Kit Fisto telling Vader zir lineage is like a super formal thing, meant to be impressive, and befits a Jedi who was on the council. Nahdar Vebb is a canon character, they died before order 66 came through. I couldn't find who Kit's master was so I made up Soe.


	10. What were Chirrut and Baze up to?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> While Kit was facing off with Darth Vader, Chirrut and Baze talk to Jyn and Bodhi.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is last chapter, but from the rebel's point of view. I hope the slight time skip isn't confusing!
> 
> tw:this chapter starts off with some pretty heavy victim blaming. If this makes you uncomfortable, you can skip to “oh, it’s beautiful.” I wrote it this way because blaming yourself after an assault is pretty common and Jyn seems like she would struggle with the self hatred. However, her thoughts are not true, and I will smash the victim blaming later on. For now, she's in a bad place, and her thoughts are similarly bad.

\-----------

 

Jyn is floating in darkness. There's an uncomfortable pressure on her stomach and waist, but she barely feels it. The darkness muffles sound and dulls her pain. It's the only thing keeping her safe. The fear creeps into her again and she tries to push it away, retreating deeper into the darkness.

 

There's a light. It's barely there at first, but quickly begins to grow. It's a soft, light shade of blue. It feels unthreatening, but it is intruding nonetheless. The intrusion reminders her of the other, with his red blades of thought that cut deep into her mind.

 

The fear comes back again and this time the darkness can't fight it off. The blue light is constant now; disturbing the dark and letting fear creep deeper and deeper into her.

 

She knows she should fight it off. She's strong, she spent most of her life fighting and surviving by herself.  She can do it, she can fight the light…

 

_ You couldn't protect yourself from the other. He hurt you and you couldn't do anything. What does that say about your ability to fight? You couldn't do anything to stop him! You are weak and defenseless! You let him hurt you, you pathetic, disgusting  _ **_victim!_ **

 

_ No, I did fight him, I did… _

 

_ Obviously not hard enough! If you hadn't been so weak this wouldn't have happened to you! This is all your fault! _

 

_ No... _

 

_ You deserve the light’s pain for letting the other hurt you! Give in and take your punishment! It's what you deserve. _

 

Jyn curls tighter into herself. 

 

_ Please, I just want the pain to stop, why won't it stop hurting? _

 

The light flares suddenly, then dims. Jyn keeps her eyes closed and waits.

 

And waits.

 

Nothing happens.

 

Eventually, the anticipation is too much and she peeks through her fingers.

 

_ Oh...it's beautiful!  _

 

The light had formed a humanoid shape. It's a light blue outline, dotted with starlike twinkles. It glows and blinks at her, soft and harmless. With its back turned towards her, she can't tell who it is.

 

It turns around.

 

_ Chirrut? _

 

He breaks into a toothy smile and nods.

 

_ How can you be here? We saw your body! _

 

He steps closer, but stays far enough away to not crowd her.

 

_ I am dead, Jyn. But the force preserved me and Baze. Now, we are ghosts, created by the force. We can cross over into the physical world. We needed to see what had happened to you, little sister.  _

 

Jyn feels like she is choking; Chirrut is here, and speaking to her! He makes the world seem okay for now, despite the pain and hatred still seething beneath her skin.

 

_ You seem to be in trouble, Jyn. _

 

He pauses and looks up, as if he's listening to something she can't hear.

 

_ I have to go now, but listen to me. We will watch over you in life, and in death you  _

_ will join us. I know you are hurting, but you must survive. You must continue to fight!  _

 

_ Not only for the good of the universe, but also for your friends. They are hurting like you, Jyn. Lean on them and your pain will be soothed. In return, you can soothe their pain. But to do so, you must wake up! _

 

Jyn nods, still speechless. Before she can collect herself, Chirrut fades away.

 

She almost cries out for him, almost begs him to stay with her. But she snaps her mouth shut before she can say a word.

 

Screaming for her loved ones to come back never helped her before. She cried for her mother for a whole day, and she still lay dead in the mud. She screamed in the bunker for weeks, and no one ever came for her. She begged her father not to leave her, and he still died in her arms. 

 

_ I will not beg. I will not cry. My emotions are a weakness. I will not show weakness again.  _

 

A lifetime of bitterness and the growing cold that spreads through her body push her into action. She claws at the darkness around her, trying to tear her way back into reality.

 

\------------------Bodhi pov-----------------

 

Bodhi opens his eyes and the imperials come. He doesn't close them again, even though that make them go away. He needs to keep them open because Cassian is staring at him, looking concerned for Bodhi’s safety—and isn't that a new feeling, someone being concerned about him,  he hasn't quite gotten used to it—but also hiding his own fear.

 

Cassian is afraid and he is looking to Bodhi for support.

 

_ I have already failed enough people in my life, I will not fail him. _

 

So Bodhi forces his eyes to stay open, staring at the stormtroopers in a small act of defiance. Even when he is pulled away from the wall and cuffed, he fights down the rising panic and glares at his captors. 

 

They're marched out into a hallway. Bodhi notices Jyn for the first time, and feels his heart stop for a moment. She's so limp that she almost looks dead.

 

He's ready to throw himself at the stormtroopers, his love for Jyn overcoming his fear. If she actually had been dead, he would have attacked without hesitation. It would have ended with his own death, but he would punish her murderers even if it killed him.

 

Fortunately, or perhaps unfortunately, he notices that she's still breathing. He stops himself from his planned attack, but the rage still burns inside of him. 

 

It's almost surprising that his anger is stronger than his fear. He's always been a coward, and hadn't expected that to change. 

 

_ Maybe I just love them too much. More than I love myself. _

 

The realization is terrifying, but he pushes it away. He can worry about being in too deep later, right now he's surrounded by imperials who are taking them to who-knows-where.

 

The shreds of bravery Bodhi had gathered is smashed when Darth Vader comes around the corner.

 

Bodhi doesn't even scream, he just shuts down.

 

_ The shadow man is back. _

 

The mechanical breathing moves closer.

 

_ He's going to hurt me again. _

 

The stormtroopers around Bodhi move suddenly. He’s pushed into a wall, which he collapses against. He makes himself as small as possible, trying to hide amongst the small crowd that fills the hallway.

 

_ Please, just leave me alone. Please, please don't see me... _

 

The breathing passes by. There's yelling, but it's distant through the fog in Bodhi’s mind. What the voices are saying is meaningless, all that matters is that the shadow man has left him alone, at least for now.

 

Bodhi sits down, back still to the wall. He pulls his knees in, curling over them, and puts his hands over ears. His eyes are closed; have been since the shadow man came back. He pushes his hands harder against his ears, nails digging into his scalp, trying to block out the respirated breathing that echoes through the hallway.

 

Then the darkness of his eyelids changes to deep red, as if someone's shining a flashlight in his face. 

 

_ I don't know why there's a bright light, but it can't be good. _

 

Bodhi leans away from the light, wanting to distance himself from the danger but still too afraid to open his eyes.

 

**_You don't need to run from me, little brother._ **

 

The voice is warm, its words kind. Most importantly, it's familiar.

 

_ Baze? Is that you? You're dead! _

 

**_Yes, I am dead. But apparently Chirrut is less of a fool than I thought, and we have become one with the force._ **

 

_ Then why are you here? _

 

**_We wanted to see you. We want to help you, as you are in a bad situation, Bodhi. Can you look at me? I want to see your face._ **

 

That doesn't sound like a trap at all.

 

But Bodhi wants to believe it is Baze speaking to him, so he raises his head and opens his eyes.

 

Baze is smiling at him, his face and body outlined in blue light.

 

_ I can't believe it. He's actually here. _

 

Bodhi throws himself into Baze’s arms, and for a moment, he feels like everything is okay. 

 

Baze hugs him close and speaks gently into his ear.  **We will never leave you, Bodhi. We will watch over you in your trials, and lend support where we can.**

 

Bodhi chokes on a sob.  _ I don't know if I can do it, Baze. I just want it to end. I think I'd rather die than stay in this place another minute! _

 

**You are hurting greatly, and death would stop your pain. Rest assured, if you choose that path, Chirrut and I will be waiting for you.**

 

**But you are strong, Bodhi. You have survived much and accomplished much. I believe that you can survive this, and be free one day.  If you choose to live, you will be able to stay with Jyn and Cassian.**

 

**And, you will be able to hurt those who torment you. You will survive, and take your vengeance. I will beside you, Bodhi, and I know you are strong enough to live through this.**

 

Bodhi is crying now, shaking in Baze's arms. But he feels bolstered by his friends words, by his believe in his strength.

 

And he does want to hurt the empire. For his murdered family, for his murdered planet, for the dead on Scariff, for the pain they have put Jyn and Cassian through, he wants to destroy them.

 

The rage he felt when he saw Jyn returns, fanned by Baze’s words. He pulls away from the ghost and looks him in the eyes.

  
_ I choose to live. _


	11. home sweet cell

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tw: this chapter contains victim blaming again, this time from Bodhi. The victim blaming is rebutted by cassian, and lasts for a very short time. However, if this upsets you, you may not want to read. There's also a bit of vague gore, specifically eye trauma. It's not graphically described.

 

 

\-----------------cassian pov------------------

 

Cassian has no idea what's going on. When Vader came around the corner, his guard pushed him into the wall, blaster jammed into his back. The bastard isn't going to let him turn around, so Cassian is stuck staring at black rock as something happens behind them.

 

He can hear Vader yelling, and other voices as well. He counts two, no, three, people talking other than Vader. One of the voices is a stranger, but the other two are familiar. He doesn't believe that Chirrut and Baze are here, not after he saw their bodies. But his ears aren’t lying, he hears them. He doesn’t know how, but they’re here. 

 

His confusion is cut off as something rushes past him. The stormtrooper holding Jyn is standing in front of Cassian, and the strange blue light heads towards the startled trooper. When it pauses, floating next to the imperial, Cassian stares in disbelief. Chirrut is floating there, one hand reaching towards Jyn. 

 

He turns to look at Cassian, a gentle smile on his face, for a moment. Then he turns back to Jyn. He places his hands on either side of her head and begins to mutter, too quietly for Cassian to understand. There are strange gaps in his mumbling, as if he’s having a conversation. The stormtrooper holding Jyn has even less of an idea what’s going on, but they seem too terrified to pull Jyn away from the ghost.

 

Chirrut finishes his nonsensical conversation and turns to Cassian. He speaks, his voice achingly familiar:

 

**We will be there when you need us, little brother. Do not give up.**

 

He fades away and Cassian is left staring at empty space. He and the stormtroopers stare at each other in mutual incomprehension.

 

Their stillness is broken when Jyn comes alive.

 

Her eyes snap open, and she meets Cassian’s eyes. He jerks back in shock.

 

Before the imperials can react to her awakening, she thrashes, throwing an arm out at her captor’s face. She manages to punch through the plastic covering their eyes. They collapse, and Cassian winces.

 

_ Plastic shards to the face. Ouch. _

 

She’s launching off of them as they fall, her face feral. She brings another down, leaping at them and breaking their neck. Cassian is torn between cheering her on and worrying that she’ll get killed. 

 

Before she can attack another trooper, the one behind Cassian pulls the blaster away from him and shoots her down. Cassian can’t breathe as she falls to the floor.  He’s only able to breathe once she lands and lies still and he can see she’s still breathing.

 

_ Thank force, they’re using stun blasts. _

 

The trooper behind him returns his blaster to Cassian just as Darth Vader sweeps by. 

He shouts an order to the jumpy stormtroopers: “Get these prisoners to their cell, now!”. 

 

The squad jumps into action. One trooper grabs Jyn while two others lift her moaning victim. They’re clawing at their helmet, as if they want to start pulling the shards out of themself, but don't have enough rational thought left to take their mask off first.

 

The trooper pushes at Cassian and he follows the other troopers. He twists far enough to see behind him, where Bodhi is walking. He’s unharmed and, surprisingly, looks less afraid than before. 

 

Cassian turns around and faces forward again before his guard can yell at him. They march for a long time through unchanging black hallways, troopers peeling off with their wounded and dead. Finally, after Cassian is completely lost, they reach a cell block.

 

The troopers key the door open with a code and shove them in. It’s small and shitty, as is to be expected from a prison cell. The only interesting thing about it is that there are three of them in it.

 

_ The imperials didn't split us up? _

 

Bodhi speaks, his face creased by a worried frown. 

 

“It's standard imperial procedure to separate prisoners. It’s how they soften you up during torture.”

 

He doesn't say what they're all thinking. He doesn't need to; they all know that the empire acting unusual is bad news. 

 

They settle in in silence, they have nothing to strategize about, and they don't want to rehash exactly how horrible their situation is. Maybe it's a good thing they don't talk anyways: they're all exhausted.

 

Cassian paces around the cell, checking all of it. It’s only meant for one person; the imperials have dragged in two cots to accompany the single sleeping slab. Other than that, there's a tiny bathroom in one corner and four blank walls. 

 

Jyn had already collapsed on a cot, an arm thrown over her eyes. He wants to talk to her, make sure she's okay, but it doesn't seem like a good idea. When he came out of his mind, he came out worried and protective. When she came out, she attacked their captors and murdered one of them.  _ Just give her time to calm down, you don't want her attacking you. _

 

Bodhi is sitting in one of the corners. He’s pushed himself into the corner so that it protects his back and some of his sides. He watches Cassian pace for a few moments before he turns his eyes to the ground.

 

It's been a long time when Bodhi speaks.

 

“I think I deserve this.”

 

It's so quiet,  it's obviously not meant for them to hear. But Cassian is hyper aware of everything, waiting for the hiss of the door opening or for Jyn to scream or for anything dangerous at all.

 

When he hears Bodhi mumble it he feels sick. He’s rushing to the corner before he even knows what he's doing. He moves so fast that he startles Bodhi, the man accidentally banging his head against the wall as he tries to shove himself deeper into the corner.

 

His guilt at scaring Bodhi is ignored in the face of the larger problem.

 

“Don't you dare say that.”

 

His voice is shaking with restrained rage.  _ I need to control myself, showing my anger is only going to freak him out more. _

 

Bodhi stares at him, cautious in a way that makes Cassian’s heart hurt.

 

“S-say what?”

 

Cassian crushes the hem of his shirt, pushing his anger down farther.

 

“That you deserve this.”

 

Bodhi looks at him, eyes beginning to water.

 

“But of course I do! I'm an imperial, I let them kill people, I didn't do anything for years, I even helped them kill people! I flew troops all the time! All the people the empire has killed, I helped them kill!”

 

Bodhi’s voice is rising, getting louder and higher pitched. Cassian hesitates, shocked by how confidently he’s talking. The defector’s eyes spill over as he continues:

 

“This is the universe punishing me for what I did! Shouldn't I be punished? Don't I deserve to pay for what I did?”

 

Cassian overcomes his shock and reaches out to Bodhi. He grasps the pilot’s arms and looks him in the eye.

 

“You don't deserve this, Bodhi. Yes, you helped the empire, yes, it was wrong. But no one deserves to have their mind invaded, and especially not you! You realized you were doing wrong and you changed that! You helped us steal the plans, without you the rebellion would be helpless against the Death Star.”

 

Bodhi is staring at Cassian, but he's obviously not taking in what Cassian is saying.

 

“Bodhi, repeat after me. I am not at fault.”

 

Bodhi’s lips twitch but he doesn't speak.

 

“Say it, Bodhi!” Cassian has to work hard to keep his voice quiet.

 

“I… I am not at fault.”

 

“Again.”

 

“I am not at fault.”

 

“Again.”

 

“I am not at fault.”

 

“The only one responsible for what happened is the one who committed the action. Darth Vader is evil, and his actions are evil. You are not at fault.”

 

Bodhi’s hands shake in Cassian's as he echoes again:

 

“I am not at fault.”

 

“If you start thinking about it, or blaming yourself again, just say that, okay? Over and over again. And, if you need me, just tell me. I'll always be there, and I want to help you, even if you think it's not a big deal. If it hurts you, tell me. I want to help you through this, Bodhi.”

 

Bodhi is still mouthing the phrase, and he’s shaking less. Cassian doesn't expect him to get better instantly, or for the phrase to help much. But it'll give him something to think about other than his pain, and sometimes if you say something enough, you start to believe it.

 

“Why do you know how to deal with this?”

 

Cassian jumps when Jyn speaks; he wasn't expecting anything from her for a while.

 

Her question brings the memories back, and he wonders what to say.

 

He turns to Jyn and gives the best answer he can.

 

“I've dealt with this type of trauma before.”

 

He turns away from them and buries himself in a corner. They don't speak again, or try to reach out to him.


	12. the calm before the storm

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tw:graphic description of wounds, blood.
> 
> This chapter is more fluffy. My characterization of Jyn may seem off, but I think that, despite how quickly the friendships developed in the movie, she will still have problems forming/maintaining friendships (especially since Saw abandoned her and she's essentially been living as a friendless criminal since then.) The friendship/romantic relationship is going to be kinda choppy and slow to develop, because these characters already had issues even before I started torturing them. However we will get there, and there will be plenty of fluff along the way!

\---------

Cassian takes the time to pull himself back together. He pushes the memories away and lets himself feel bad for a few minutes. He lets himself rage at the world and at the imperials, lets himself cry a few silent tears. Then he focuses again, drawing strength from his friends. He can't let himself be sucked down by the memories, not when he needs to protect Jyn and Bodhi.

 

He pulls himself out of his corner and throws Bodhi a comforting smile. Jyn is still lying on her cot, her eyes closed. But her body is less tense than before, so Cassian approaches her.

 

He sits down and stares into her face before speaking softly:

 

“Is it alright if I take a look at your neck, Jyn?”

 

When the stormtrooper was throwing her around in the cargo ship, she was still collared. Her neck must be injured, torn up after hitting the collar so much. They need to take care of their physical wounds just as much a their mental wounds.

 

For a long moment, she doesn't reply, or even move. Then, she opens her eyes and stares at Cassian, uncomfortably intense. Eventually, she sits up and tilts her head up, an invitation to look at her neck.

 

He leans forwards, moving slowly so he doesn't set her off. The gleaming metal of the collar is surrounded by red. Closest to the metal is bloody, lightning to fresh bruises as it gets farther away. 

 

The collar has probably scraped off a few layers of skin, but it's tight enough against her neck he can't do anything to help. The most he's going to be able to do is wipe the blood away and hope it doesn't get infected. He hears cautious footsteps as Bodhi joins them. 

 

The pilot taps Cassian on the shoulder and hands him a scrap of fabric he’s pulled out of his pocket. It's got smears of grease on one half, but the other side is cleaner than any other fabric they have.

 

He looks up at Jyn and opens his mouth to warn her that he's going to touch her wound. She interrupts him before he can finish and snaps: 

 

“Just get on with it.”

 

He wraps on hand around the back of her neck to keep her still. He wipes at the metal first, clearing red from it and turning it back to gleaming silver. Next, he dabs at the flesh around the collar. He is as gentle as possible but Jyn still flinches. 

 

Her pain is unavoidable, but he hates to see her in pain, so he cleans the blood off as quickly as possible. When he moves to the back of her neck, he finds that her ponytail has dragged through the blood. Some of her hair has been soaked with red. He wipes off as much as he can, then calls Bodhi over.

 

“Can you work through her hair, see if you can get more blood off? If you can't that's okay. Just keep it away from her neck so I can work.”

 

Bodhi starts running his fingers through her hair, squeezing the strands, smearing red across his fingers. Jyn tenses when he starts touching her hair, but doesn't say anything.

 

Cassian swipes at the back of her neck until there's no blood left. With the blood gone, he can see the full extent of her injury. 

 

There's a ring of bruises, pink right now, but that will darken to purple and blue later. Where the bruises end, there's a slight rash, like rug burn. He can't see under her collar but he’s sure she's got a groove cut into a flesh.

 

He folds the now bloodstained rag up and turns to check on Bodhi’s progress. His jumpsuit has red stains where he must have been wiping his hands clean. To cassian’s surprise, Jyn’s hair is in a incomplete braid. Bodhi’s fingers tremble but his movements are sure and practiced.

 

The idea of Bodhi learning how to braid somewhere in the empire seems absurd.

 

_ But I guess it makes sense; he has long hair, he'd have an use for braiding. _

 

Cassian doesn't speak; Bodhi's face is calm as he focuses. He's completely entranced by his task, and there’s even a small smile tugging at his lips. Cassian doesn't want to disturb him; having a job seems to be helping him stay calm.

 

They pilot finishes the braid and pulls the hair tie out of his own pony tail. His hair falls loose around his shoulders, dirty and matted. Cassian’s breath catches; Bodhi’s hair frames his face, soft tendrils curling over his shoulders and around his neck. He’s smiling as he pushes the braid over Jyn’s shoulder, dark eyes bright.

 

_ Shit. He’s beautiful. _

 

Cassian's thoughts are cut off when Jyn sees the braid. Her hair is short, so she can't see much of it, but she seems thunderstruck. “You know how to braid?” She rasps. 

 

Bodhi smiles nervously, unsure if Jyn’s reaction is positive or not. 

 

“Yes, I learned for my mother.” 

 

His smile turns sadder then, but his grief is cut off when Jyn pulls him into a hug. Cassian can hear her, even though her face is buried in Bodhi’s shoulder.

 

“My mother used to braid my hair when I was very young. My father was learning when they came—” she sobs for a moment, voice thick with tears. “I never learned from her, I don't  know how to do it for myself...”

 

Bodhi pats her back, looking frightened. He doesn't seem sure how to react. Cassian wants to move in, help him, but he’s not sure how Jyn would take that. Bodhi takes a deep breath, steeling himself, and offers tentatively:

 

“I can teach you, if you want?”

 

Jyn startles them both when she throws her head up. Her eyes are shining when she looks at Bodhi, tears and confusion and hope all in one. 

 

“You will?”

 

Bodhi smiles down at her, larger than before. 

 

“I'd be happy to.”

 

Jyn laughs, a disbelieving noise. Cassian is reminded that she spent her life as a criminal, rotting away in jail. He wonders how long it will take her to understand they aren't going to abandon her.

 

He wonders how long it's going to take him to understand that they aren't going to abandon him.

 

But he’s used to fanatically loving a lost cause. He loves the rebellion, with every part of him. Loving these people is the same; love that burns through him, brighter than a star, but twisted by the knowledge that he will lose what he loves.

 

The rebellion will be destroyed, Bodhi and Jyn will die here in this prison. But he will love them until the end, and he will love them with everything he has.

 

Bodhi is yelping as Jyn tries to run her fingers through his hair. His hair is knotted, and Jyn harshly rips through the knots. Once they’ve managed to finger comb his hair, Bodhi starts teaching Jyn. He shows her how, braiding his hair to demonstrate. 

 

Then he lets her try. Cassian sees him wince a couple times when she tugs too hard. She struggles, messes up many times, but Bodhi gently keeps her going. With enough practice she finally gets a passable braid in Bodhi’s hair. 

 

He doesn't have another hair tie, but he takes a small strand of hair and uses it to tie off the braid. Cassian would think that would knot his hair horribly, but Bodhi doesn't seem worried. Bodhi and Jyn grin at each other and their matching braids, childish and carefree. 

 

Cassian moves forwards and pulls them into a three person hug. He reaches out to tug on Jyn’s braid. She hisses and swats at him, but she's smiling. Cassian inspects Bodhi’s braid and heaps Jyn with praise. She blushes and grins, looking incredibly young. 

 

They hear the beeping of a keypad. 

 

Cassian snarls and pushes Bodhi and Jyn behind him.

  
The door opens.


	13. Lieutenant Stark

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tw: Non consensual drug use. Also, torture.
> 
> I refer to all imperial officers with he/him pronouns instead of they/them because imperials are disgusting space nazis, who would obviously be sexist, and would never let woman or enbies rise to a position of power. Stormtroopers and other low level imperials will be referred to using they/them because imperials don't care what gender their cannon fodder is.

\---------------

 

Darth Vader storms through the hallways. Imperials scramble to get out of his way, pressing themselves against walls and saluting as he passes. They can feel his anger like a physical weight, and they know he's especially dangerous when he's in a mood. He's heading to his meditation room, but he's stopped before he can reach it.

 

An unfortunate lower level officer is chosen to interrupt the dark lord. He prays to the force that he won't die and steps into Vader’s path. Vader stops, but his breathing seems to get more menacing every second. The officer almost faints but manages to stumble through his message.

 

“I'm sorry to stop you sir, b-but I have a message for you from commander smith.”

 

Breathing.

 

“The rebel prisoners from Scariff have been moved into a cell together, as you commanded. The torturers want to know what you want done with them?”

 

“They are my prisoners to interrogate, but I am preoccupied at the moment. Tell the torturers no serious damage is to be done to them.”

 

“Yes sir!” The officer tries to scuttle away but Vader calls him back.

 

“Let lieutenant Stark visit them, soften them up for when I return.”

 

The officer salutes again and flees, astonished he not only survived, but even survived untouched.

 

Vader is too focused on the strange encounter from earlier to attack irritating imperials; he wants to find out why there are Jedi force ghosts suddenly infesting his castle.

 

_ I must mediate, reach out to the force. Perhaps there is something drawing them here that I have missed. _

 

_ I don't think Palpatine needs to hear about this. _

 

_ \---------------Cassian pov-------------------- _

 

The cell door slides open. A pair of stormtroopers enter, followed by an officer. He walks with the swagger of an officer of high enough rank to be at ease, but not high enough to be sure of himself. There's an unpleasant grin on his face, and another pair of stormtroopers follow him in, carrying an unmarked grey box.

 

Cassian knows that protecting his friends will be pointless in the end, but it makes him feel better anyways. He kneels, arms out to the sides, both to make himself bigger and to keep Jyn and Bodhi from moving. He can feel their warmth against his back, Bodhi shaking and leaning into him, Jyn barely touching and obviously itching to push past him.

 

The officer sits down on the sleeping slab. The first pair of stormtroopers take up guard positions on either side of him. The second pair set the box on the slab next to him and then retreat to guard the door.

 

The unsettling grin never drops off the imperial’s face. If anything, it grows as he stares at the rebels. Finally, after a long stretch of tense silence, he speaks:

 

“Hello, my destructive rebel friends. I'm lieutenant Stark. I know you don't know me, and probably don't wish to, but it's only polite to introduce myself. After all, we are going to be seeing a lot of each other.”

 

His speech is gleeful and unhurried, smooth imperial accent slipping off his tongue. Cassian grits his teeth and reminds himself of all the reasons why he shouldn't punch the imperial in the face.

 

“Now, you should be glad you got me today! Unlike most of our torturers, I am an _ artist _ !”

 

Cassian wonders why the force insists upon tormenting them so completely. Not only are they about to get wrecked by a torturer, but he has to be an egotistical monologuer as well. He can almost feel Jyn rolling her eyes behind him.

 

The imperial continues to blabber and Bodhi mutters: “I almost wish he'd just get on with hurting us.” 

 

Cassian, caught off guard, doesn't manage to muffle his laugh. The officer cuts off, throwing the cell into a tense silence.

 

“Did you…just laugh at me?” The imperial’s face is turning an entertaining shade of angry red. Any enjoyment Cassian derives from the sight drops away when the officer stands up. He points his finger, imperiously, at the crouched rebels and commands:

 

“Restrain them and bring them to me.”

 

The stormtroopers move forwards and the inescapablity of their situation comes crashing down in Cassian. He lets his dread paralyze him for a moment too long, and Jyn darts past his restraining arm.

 

She's just a flash of dark cloth, charging the troopers with her signature speed. She kicks the legs out from under the first one, then grapples with the second. She manages to push the second trooper away and stomps on the first one. But the pair guarding the door charges forwards and she is quickly beat back into submission by the butts of their blasters.

 

The officer laughs cruelly as the troopers drag her to kneel in front of him. The other two pick themselves up and corral Bodhi and Cassian. They don't resist, but they're harshly shoved to their knees nonetheless. The three rebels kneel, staring defiantly up at the officer. 

 

It's completely unnecessary for them to be forced to kneel: the collars could easily have pinned them to the wall. But this torturer seems to have an irritating love for the dramatic. He's watching them be dragged towards him, tapping his fingers on the box next to him.

 

Once he's silently gloated for long enough, he pulls the box open. It's not large, so Cassian wonders what tools would fit in it.

 

_ I'm sure I'll find out soon enough. _

 

The officer pulls out a syringe, tipped with a needle and filled with a clear liquid.

 

_ Oh fuck no. _

 

Cassian doesn't like needles. It's not a full blown phobia, but he feels pretty close to panicking as the imperial pulls out two more syringes. 

 

The officer steps forwards, the first, clear syringe in hand. “I have prepared three different drugs, so you'll each have different symptoms. This one is new, I’m quite excited to test it out!”

 

He glides towards Jyn. She glares, but she's held in place by two stormtroopers, so she can't do more than thrash in their grip. The imperial jabs her harshly in the arm, pumping the clear liquid into her bloodstream. 

 

When the needle hits her, she stops thrashing, and she stays still after it’s removed. Her eyes dart around the room wildly, as if she's expecting the poison to hit her from the outside rather than the inside. The officer drops the now empty syringe into the box and grabs a full one.

 

This one is a dark grey, like a hull plate smeared with oil. It's needle is no less intimidating than the one used on Jyn. The officer begins approaching Cassian. 

 

Cassian's fear jumpstarts and he tries to scramble away. He runs into the stormtrooper behind him. Before he can readjust, the trooper guarding Bodhi joins his guard and he's pinned in place. The imperial jeers:

 

“Not fond of needles, are we?”

 

There's a sharp pain in his arm and then the unpleasant feeling of something being pushed under his skin. The imperial pulls away and Cassian tries to steady his breathing.

 

He has a few more seconds of normality before the drug hits. Jyn begins screaming a minute before his world begins to spin.

 

\-------------------Bodhi pov----------------------

 

Jyn starts screaming. It's preceded by a harsh intake of breath and then she’s just screaming. So loud it echoes around the cell, so loud the officer winces, so loud he think she must be hurting something in her throat. She only ceases when she's gulping for air. 

 

Bodhi looks to Cassian, but his eyes are darting around the room, glazed and unseeing. He's not aware of Bodhi or anything else around him. The captain’s fingers twitch, as if he's ready to leap into action but hasn't found a reason to yet.

 

Bodhi’s observations are cut off when the officer approaches him. He doesn't struggle; this seems like one of the less painful things that's happened to him lately, and resisting would be useless anyways. 

 

The needle slips easily under his skin. When the officer pulls it out he pats Bodhi’s head, like how one would pat a dog. “You’re good, staying still. The empire’s taught you well, eh?” 

 

Bodhi flinches away from the uninvited touch and feels disgust curdle his stomach. He didn't want the empire to teach him anything, that's why he failed their classes, why he never flew anything more powerful than a cargo ship.

 

His guilt and disgust and overpowered by a new feeling. His neck feels rubbery and useless; his head drops to his shoulder. Even the muscles in his back are failing, his body dropping to the side as they stop holding him up. If he were standing, he would have collapsed. As it is, he slumps to the side until he's lying prone on the floor. 

 

He can't move.

 

His mind is hazy and his thoughts sluggish, but he knows he should be able to move. 

 

He can't move.

 

Not even his fingers twitch. 

 

He can't move. 

 

His eyes still blink, regularly, but he's stuck staring helplessly forwards. 

 

He can't move.

 

Over Jyn’s screams, he hears the officer recording notes.

 

“This drug is meant to induce total paralysis while still keeping the victim alive.” 

 

The officer kicks him in the stomach. Instinctively, he tries to curl up to protect himself. Nothing happens. 

 

The officer grabs his arm and begins to move it. None of the joints bend, even when he tries to force them. 

 

He grabs Bodhi around the neck and looks closely at his face. Bodhi desperately wants him to let go, wants him to go away, but he can't move.

 

He can't move.

 

He can't move.

 

The officer finishes his inspection.

 

“This formula seems to work perfectly. There is complete immobilization of voluntary muscles. However, involuntary muscle movement is left untouched, keeping the victim's vital functions active. Test drug 10a-1 is a success.”

 

The officer moves away from him and leaves Bodhi trapped on his own body, unable to move.

 

He can’t move I can’t move I can’t move I can’t-does  **it** have him again? No, he can’t feel it’s tentacles wrapping around him or the slime dripping or his thoughts splintering- then why can’t he move? 

 

Bodhi sits in the grey stillness and tries to think. Time stretches out around him, moving too slow, and he  _ still can’t move! _

 

\--------------Cassian pov--------------------

 

Jyn is screaming. 

 

_ I have to help her, I have to help them, I have to finish the mission! _

 

_ No. _

 

_ He’d finished it. The mission was over. _

 

_ No. _

 

_ He hadn't shot Galen Erso. The mission wasn't over? _

 

_ Sand and water and blaster fire. _

 

_ The mission was over. _

 

_ The plans were sent. The mission was over. _

 

_ What am I doing? The mission is over. Why am I still here? _

 

Jyn is screaming.

 

A shape pulls itself out of the darkness in the corner of the cell. His mother steps into the light, her face hard and cold. 

 

He feels something crumple inside of him.

 

She's walking towards him, her gait slow but steady. Her hair falls loose around her face, frizzy and torn in places. She doesn't reach up to push it back. She stops a few feet in front of him. Another figure forms from the darkness, walking into the cell after her.

 

White armor gleams in the harsh light of the cell. The stormtrooper follows his mother towards him, then stops, remaining a few feet away from the woman.

 

He doesn't hear anything, but his mother does. She twitches, her head swinging towards the trooper, like she wants to look at them but is too afraid to. Her face changes, less cold and more afraid. She kneels slowly, reacting to a command he can’t hear. 

 

There’s a gleam, dark amongst the trooper’s armor. It gleams a familiar light, polished metal and plastic. It gleams an insidious black, like the shells of beetles. Cassian knows that gleam intimately, though his gun shone grey rather than black.

 

There’s no movement, no sound, he doesn't even see the blaster shot. But his mother crumples forwards, her face pained but still controlled. There’s a smoking hole in the back of her head and he can almost smell the burnt flesh.

 

_ He had found the report, once he had been in the rebellion for about a year. He had hesitated, been too afraid to look. But finally he searched up his family name. There was very little information, of course. They were a small, meaningless family on an unimportant planet. There were his parents birth certificates, their marriage record, his and his sibling’s birth certificates. Only one thing had been added since he had last checked, when he was very young and his father was showing him how a datapad worked.  _

 

_ It’s a small note, a few short lines. _

 

_ His entire family was killed, a few days after he left. “Aiding a criminal escape” is their only crime listed. He left, and his family was blamed and they were captured and marched out and shot— _

 

Another shape melts out of the darkness. It’s hunched over as it shuffles towards him. He recognizes the gait, it’s his informant from Jeddha. 

 

_ He’s dead. It’s all right, he’s dead. _

 

The ghost shuffles forwards into the light and then collapses. He hears his own gun go off, hears the familiar shot.

 

_ This isn't real. It’s okay, he’s dead. _

 

The man groans. He shifts and shakes, and Cassian can see the wound burned into his chest.

 

Something clenches in his chest.

 

_ That's not where I shot him, is it? That's not the right place, that's not a kill shot.  _

 

The man whimpers and starts trying to crawl towards Cassian. A squad of troopers form and approach the struggling informant.

 

_ I couldn't have missed. I know I didn't miss! _

 

The troopers are on the man, start dragging him away. Cassian can't hear him, but he can see his mouth moving as he begs and cries.

 

_ I didn't miss.  _

The troopers drag the informant to a dark shape. Cassian recognizes a torturer's uniform.

 

_ Did I? _

 

The torturer presses something to the informant’s side and the man convulses, his mouth open in a silent scream.

 

_ No! I couldn't have missed, he’s dead, they can't hurt him! _

 

Metal gleams, a light silver this time. The torturer has a knife in his hand, brings it smoothly down into the informant. The movements are slow and practiced and the informant screams louder.

 

_ I failed, I missed. I failed and left him there, I didn't finish the job— _

 

Another person approaches as the tortured informant fades. This one is slight, and the darkness is wrapped around her–no, she’s just wearing black clothing. 

 

_ Jyn. _

 

She stops and another form fades into being at her feet. It’s the twisted form of her father, blood and rain pooling around him. 

 

_ The mission I didn’t finish. The order I disobeyed. _

 

She stares down at her father, horror filling her face. Then she looks up and she sees Cassian. They lock eyes, and Cassian sees the horror change to rage. 

 

Then she’s screaming at him, wordless shrieks changing her beautiful face into a hellish mask. She leaps at him, with the same speed and anger she attacked the stormtroopers, and claws at him. She’s still screaming, even as he tries to keep her from clawing at his face. She doesn't stop screaming-

 

_ I’m sorry Jyn, but I didn't do it! I didn't pull the trigger, I’m not a mindless killer! I’m not a stormtrooper! _

 

She’s a tireless fury, tearing at him and still screaming, still screaming, still screaming----

 

\-----------------------Jyn pov--------------

 

Jyn can’t stop screaming. As soon as the drugs hit her, she’s screaming. Her entire body is filled with a sharp pain, twisting through her limbs and her torso and her head. The pain doesn't lessen or stop, just continues on and on. And she can’t stop screaming!

 

A face swims into view, blurry through her tears. It’s the imperial, he’s contently peering at her, lips moving. She can’t hear what he’s saying over her own screams. 

  
He pokes at her and she tries to curl away from him, but it makes the pain worse. He doesn’t touch her again, seemingly satisfied. He goes away and leaves her with the pain and the endless screaming.


	14. temporary safety

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, everyone! I am writing the fics in this series chronologically, so this one took place during Rogue one, the next one will take place during A New Hope, and so on. As such, I have decided to cut this one off here because this is approximately when Rogue one ends and A New Hope begins. Also, I'm trying to upkeep a lot of fics right now, so I'll use a short hiatus between works in this series to catch up. I hope this isn't too strange of a stopping point. I will be posting the next work soon, thank you all for reading!

\---------------------------------

 

Darth Vader finally makes it to his meditation room. But as soon as he steps through the door the computer is chirping at him. He's sick of being interrupted, if there had been a subordinate around he would have taken his anger out on them, but there's only the beeping computer.

 

He wants to ignore the message, but he notices that the sender is Tarkin. If he doesn't respond he'll get an earful from the emperor. He growls; it comes out of the respirator as a creaking groan.

 

Despite his irritation, he knows he doesn't have a choice. He opens the holographic message Tarkin left.  The skeletal man flickers into view. The hologram is frozen for a moment, then jerks into motion. Tarkin sneers and begins to speak, voice calm and condescending.

 

“Lord Vader. I understand you are working on your projects on Mustafar, but I have need of your services. Leia Organa is proving to be very resistant to torture; we require your unique skills on the Death Star. I expect you to report to me, in person, within one solar day.”

 

Without even a goodbye, the hologram cuts off. Darth Vader is left staring at Tarkin’s sneering face. He lets out a scream of rage and smashes the offending console, but can't deny the orders he's been given. He tears up the room until he feels in control again.

 

_ I can't leave the new rebels here; I need to pull information out of them as quickly as possible. There may be something vital to the defense of the Death Star hidden inside their minds. _

 

He opens a channel to the command center. He glares at the commander when he responds.

 

“Remove the rogue one rebels from their cell and have them loaded onto a shuttle for transport. I'll be leaving in half an hour.”

 

\--------------Bodhi pov------------------

 

Feeling comes back into Bodhi's body slowly. The regains control over his extremities first; he begins flexing his fingers and toes as a reminder to himself that the drug is wearing off, that the paralysis will go away.

 

Jyn's screaming has faded into whimpers and then breathless gasping. He rolls his shoulders and wishes his legs would return faster: he wants to make sure she's not hurt too badly.

 

Next to him, Cassian is lying very still. As soon as he can move his neck again, Bodhi turns and looks at the captain. His eyes are blank and he's curled into a defensive position. Whatever drug he was given should be wearing off now, but he hasn't moved at all; not even to help Jyn whimpering beside him.

 

Dimly, Bodhi thinks:

 

_ That's not good. _

 

But he focuses on getting all of his body back; he can deal with the damage done to Cassian later. As feeling starts to creep back into his torso, he sees the officer walk over to a beeping communication console mounted by the door. He holds a tense conversation, then begins packing up his box of concoctions.

 

Jyn's gasping suddenly escalates into yelling: she's cursing at the imperial, words he's never heard before mixed in with more common curses. The officer doesn't do anything other than laugh at her, but Bodhi is glad to hear it nonetheless. If she's able to curse their captors, then she's probably not too badly hurt.

 

Finally Bodhi can move again. He sits up, ignoring the officer as he walks out of the cell. He meets Jyn’s eyes; she's pale and shaking, but seems physically unharmed. She's glaring like she wants to attack someone, which she probably does, and he can almost hear her gritting her teeth. 

 

He tries to speak and only manages a wordless croak. He tries again and his voice comes out raspy but understandable.

 

“You okay?”

 

She looks at him, irritated and confused. It's a dumb question, of course she's not okay. But he needs to say something, hear something from her. She sighs and replies:

 

“I'm fine. But Cassian isn't looking so hot.”

 

_ Of course. Focus on Cassian, don't think about yourself. No time to think about your pain when he's lying there practically comatose. _

 

It's probably not healthy, pushing all their feelings away, but they need to get shit done.

 

She leans over to Cassian, already ahead of Bodhi. She lays a soft hand on his head, fingers slightly brushing his hair. His eyes open and he turns to look at her. Bodhi barely had time to think it's going well before Cassian is flinching away from her. 

 

The captain pushes himself away, as if he wants to throw himself across the cell but doesn't have the energy to do more than shuffle. Jyn cries out, an offended noise. Bodhi recognizes that this could go very badly very quickly and pushes her behind him. She starts to complain but he shushes her.

 

“We don't know what they gave him. I don't know why he's afraid of you, but he is. You getting closer is only going to make it worse.”

 

Cassian is squinting at them, eyes still a little wild. Bodhi moves forward and puts on his best soothing voice, despite the fact that the pain in his back is blinding, his body won't stop shaking, and he keeps seeing shadows shaped like tentacles out of the corner of his eyes.

 

“Cassian, it's just me, Bodhi. We're not going to hurt you.”

 

His soothing voice sounds a little panicked but it's still soft and quiet.

 

Cassian blinks, stares at them for another long moment. Bodhi tries to smile and hopes Jyn will stay behind him and not go charging in like she usually does.

 

“Bodhi. And...Jyn.” 

 

Cassian peers past Bodhi’s shoulder, looking intently at Jyn. At a loss for how to respond, she waves awkwardly.

 

“Okay. I'm back, I'm fine. Sorry about freaking out.” 

 

Cassian smiles awkwardly and Bodhi knows that they should probably talk about what just happened, but the relief at not being in charge anymore is overwhelming. 

 

Cassian pulls himself towards them again, hesitating slightly. But he continues forwards until he's leaning into the small huddle they've made. He presses his face into Bodhi's shoulder and grabs Jyn's hand.

  
There's still two stormtroopers standing by the door, but they've survived, and for now that's enough.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've heard people say that Darth Vader wouldn't destroy stuff when he was angry like Kylo Ren and i'm just like...fam...he murders people when he's angry...why wouldn't he smash shit as well...

**Author's Note:**

> this fic will eventually turn into the rogue one is turned into weapons by the empire plot, and this series will cover all of the movies from rogue one to the force awakens.


End file.
